My Rules For What Your Kids Should Read

Okay here’s the thing, there really is only one rule.

Read It First!

Genre is subjective and lets face it good writing can be not a necessary consideration, as lone as people invest in the story and characters.

Read It First!

Or at least find someone you trust to recommend for you or read it first.

Here’s the thing something’s simply aren’t appropriate reading. Remember the young adult fiction is rated 12/3 to 18 and a lot of the issues dealt with aren’t necessary for children of that age to read.

Now before you jump on me about being naïve, understand that this is my work as well as something I love, I’m not naïve. I’ve had feedback from parents saying they want something that has no relationship and angst issues because the kids reading the books aren’t able to cope yet with the things bought up.

Then of course my biggest point of concern at the moment…Twilight. This series of books isn’t appropriate reading for young readers. Just because your ten year old has friends who read the books doesn’t mean your child should be doing the same.

Do yourself a favour and read them first. If you still think they are fine then go ahead. And if you don’t care what they read then feel free to ignore my opinion.

This isn’t just a Twilight thing there are a lot of books that should be vetoed first.

Thinking about all this got me to considering what I read when I was younger. Truth is I’m not sure there was a YA section back then.

So anyway, here’s what I remember.

Age 8 – Famous Five

Trixie Belden

Age 10/11 - Nancy Drew

The Neverending Story

Age 12 to 15 – Feist fantasy’s

Other fantasy

Agatha Christie

Sweet Valley High

Francine Pascal

Puberty Blues

Sweet Dreams

My First Love and Other Disasters

I was an avid reader and yes I got into some quite explicit books by the time I was 15 but until then…well go back and read them if you can find them, they are quite tame by comparison.

Once again it’s not me trying to be naïve, mostly I just think kids should be allowed to be kids, to learn and grow without being expected to think or feel certain things they may not be ready for.

For goodness sake. Lets allow our kids to be kids and enjoy reading, it can be fun.

Expectations

I’ve just been cast in another play and I know it’s going to be a blast. I can’t help but wonder how I managed to not do anything for three years. Now this’ll be my fourth play in 18 months.

I love being someone else. I love the adrenaline rush of being on stage. I love getting feedback like “I wonder if that’s what she’s like in person?”, when I’m nothing like the character I’m playing. I’m grateful for the friendships I’ve found in the theatre.

For all the fragility of being involved in performance; all the self-doubt in my abilities, it’s one place I feel loved and I don’t mean empty accolades like ‘oh we think you’re great…’ I’m talking about being accepted. Truly accepted for who I am.

I just realised something. I don’t expect my friends from the theatre to understand or be interested in my faith, yet I expect people from church to be interested in my theatrical pursuits. I have a double standard in my life that I wasn’t even aware of. Huh!

It just goes to show how much I am responsible for those layers of hurt, hardness, protection I mentioned in ‘A Hard Heart’.

I expected more from people who are Christians because…I guess I just figured they should be genuinely interested in what my interests are. That’s a pretty selfish thought.

It’s put me on the other side. I once told a friend that I liked her but not a choice she had made. It put a huge gap between us because I didn’t understand how that hurt her. Years later we found each other again and she told me how I’d hurt her. To her the issue was more to do with who she was, not just a choice she had made. Now I am on the flip side. I feel the creative is not just a matter of interests or hobby but rather an integral part of me.

So much in life is a matter of perspective and we are all human. We all see things through different colour lenses. We all rate things as having different values.

Wow. Something else to work on. Fortunately like most things, the first step is recognising the problem and now I’ve done that I can start to make my choices with a better frame of reference. It reminds me that often we travel through life with blinders on – not just tinted glasses. How much better would things be if we periodically take a moment or two to step back, take a good look at ourselves and see how we have blinded ourselves to ourselves.

A Hard Heart

Okay, so this isn’t going to be pleasant. No-one likes to admit that they have a hard heart, but I think I have to. Ouch!

Oh my heart isn’t rock hard. I still cry at movies; scream at the news; my heart still aches for the girl who feels she’s unworthy to be loved by someone who will cherish her and treat her right; and the person who cuts because they don’t know another way to deal with the pain on the inside.

I also still want to know God.

However I have become incredibly questioning and cynical.

The silliest things bother me. For example; a sentence that effectively, in the whole of a sermon, is a joining or throw-away line, jars me as wrong or incorrect. I pick holes in the smallest of details like speaking style and certain sentences, even though there is nothing necessarily wrong with the preaching.

I think it’s like my heart is covered in a hard shell of wax and now stuff bounces or slides off the smooth exterior. Layer after layer has been added over it as certain things have happened: years of feeling as though people want me to fit into their boxes; of feeling more tolerated than anything else because people wanted my husband’s skills as a muso; of being told by leaders in church that I’m bossy, prickly and difficult to get to know.

Now I’ve enough age and experience, to know these things about me aren’t total untruths. I do speak my mind and I often wear my emotions on my sleeve. I was once told my opinion was valued but when I spoke up and offered it, I was promptly informed the issue was none of my concern. I also don’t seem to get into the things lots of mum’s in the church environment do and so I don’t really feel relaxed at these things. (Then again I didn’t even feel really comfortable at playgroup and that had nothing to do with church.)

It’s because of things like these that many of us build walls, or for the sake of the earlier analogy, I pour another layer of wax protection around my heart. So now here I find myself, still wanting to love God but somehow distant and dry. I think it’s a little sad that I don’t feel the freedom anymore to truly and freely worship in public.

It’s amazingly sad when we consider that often it’s the things we do to ourselves, even whilst telling ourselves that it’s others doing it to us, that cause the problems. Sure I could say it’s what others said or did to me, but it is at least as much to do with my actions or reactions. I can’t control others only myself. I can also learn that there are few who actually need to understand me. First and foremost on that list would be me. I need to know who I am, what my calling and place is and focus on that. It helps, of course, that my husband understands me and I think at times he does this better than I do.

Part of my problem stems from my struggle to be what I feel others deem a ‘good Christian’ should be. I feel I should be understood and accepted and if I’m not then I’m not ‘good’ enough at what ever it is I’m supposed to be ‘good’ at. It is sometimes difficult to remember that ‘good Christian’ is a human construct and as such prone to human failings.

All I can really be is the best ‘me’ I can, after all I was created this way, artistic temperament and all. Of course that doesn’t mean I don’t have things that need to be worked on – patience continually being one of those things. But for now I need to start cracking away at the wax and allow myself to accept that it’s not other people’s responsibility to understand me. I need to let that go and allow myself to be free to be me and at the same time allow others the same grace. Then, chip by chip, the shell will begin to crack open.

Work and Home

I’m finally getting the hang of this work thing. I’ve been incredibly blessed that my bosses changed a job description for me. What was a full time position a part time one so I could fill it and in the process I almost doubled my hours. I’m the only staff member with little kids and they understand that and are flexible around my kids. Now we say that’s how is should be but actually finding people like that has been awesome.

So now I work 9-3 weekdays, and to be honest there have been a few days when it has felt as though it is getting on top of me. You know the thing – up and out of the house to catch a train to work before the school run and so on. Then I get picked up after the school run and then there is all the housework. Okay so we all know I’m not so good at that, I wasn’t even when I wasn’t working. But I’m still doing the cooking and most of the other stuff, it’s just a fact that I’m more practiced and efficient at it.

My hubby does what he can but I’m a woman and one who often feels it’s quicker to do things by myself rather than ask a couple of times. So you can imagine my pleased surprise when hubby said ‘how do I put in a load of blacks?’ Awesome, thanks babe.

So anyway though I’m a bit disorganised I still somehow find time to write. Getting it onto my blog has proven a little problematic at times though. I guess you’ll always find time for your passion.

Some Funny Stuff

Okay just a few things that I have found somewhat humorous in the course of my work. (Just so you know I work in a book store)

CUSTOMER : Have you got what I’m looking for?

ME waiting for them to go on

CUSTOMER no further comment

ME : I’ll need a bit more information than that.

ME thinking, ‘hell I didn’t realise I was supposed to be a mind reader as well’.

**********

CUSTOMER : Do you have that book by that doctor?

ME : Um, I’ll need a bit more than that.

CUSTOMER : You know, that dr off the tv.

ME : I’m sorry, which dr?

CUSTOMER : You know.

ME : I’m sorry, do you have a title?

CUSTOMER : How could you work in a book store and not know what book I’m talking about?

**********

CUSTOMER : I’m looking for a book.

ME : Do you have a title, or author?

CUSTOMER : I looked it up on the computer, it said you had none in the store.

ME : Then I’m sorry we have none in stock.

CUSTOMER : Well is there any in (name of city)?

ME : I have no idea, you could try one of the other bookstores.

CUSTOMER : Can’t you just get on the computer and check all the other bookstores.

ME thinking ‘huh? A computer link up listing the stock of all the bookstores in the local metro area?'

ME : I’m sorry no such web site exists.

CUSTOMER looks at me as if to say 'well what good are you?', and walks away.

Seven Deadly Sins

These three video clips are a series of Vblogs I wrote, originally as one monologue, on the topic of the deadly sins. I didn't take the traditional line of stating flat out that they are wrong I wanted to do something I hoped would be a little more thought provoking. As the churches I've been involved in don't seem so inclined to do drama my way I'm going to try posting some of it online instead.

Some Days

Some days it just pays to stand back and appreciate what you have. Sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in the crap on the surface. You know : the bills that need to be paid; the person who sat on you on the train for most of the journey, without apologising; the fact the kids are yelling and you just want five minutes peace and quiet.

Take a look around now with a different pair of glasses on. Bills mean you have a roof over your head, food on the table and hot water to wash in. The train journey is the best form of transport to and from a job you love, and besides it gives you the chance to listen to your music not Hi-5 and some time to write. Yelling kids is just loud play, play is healthy and it means they don’t mind spending time with each other.

Some days it just pays because it’s the small things that put that smile on your face.