I had my first army reserves interview this week. It was productive, a little funny and a bit thought provoking.
Let me address those concepts one by one. The productive first I think. I did very well in my general ability/math test, to the point where I can apply for what ever roll I want, the only things that appeared to be off the table were the roles that are available to men only. I took my uni grades not lower high school grades and they wouldn't accept them - said I was over qualified. Also you have to fill out a very comprehensive medical questionnaire. This may be where I have a hiccough. I filled it out honestly which means to the question 'have you ever self harmed?' I answered yes. Of course I was not impressed with the fact self harm was lumped into the same question as suicide, because I never came close to that and anyone who really knows anything about self harm knows that the two aren't necessarily linked, people who self harm don't always escalate to suicide and those who commit suicide often don't self harm. The nurse said there may be further questions about that. I said fine it's all out there in the open any way, not something I brag about but not something I hide away either. The long and the short is I should hear from my case officer soon and I can progress with my application.
To the funny; well there was the inappropriately popped open button, the trigonometry questions that caused me to giggle (I haven't done those sort of questions in 20 odd years), the fact I was the only female (there was only 3 of us in a group of about 20) over the age of about 20, and the fact the test computer knocked 10 years off my age. Not to mention my interviewer said one of the roles I had written down as being interested in was only available to those who had a degree in journalism, to which I responded with a 'here it is,' and put it on the table in front of him. He also told me I was a little different, well obviously, I'm female and twice the age of most candidates.
This brings us to the thought provoking part of our blog tonight. I had hit my pre-interview goal for physical fitness 45-50 sit ups, 10 push ups and 5.1 on the sprints, (point of note my pb is 5.2). Then I mentioned this to one of the other candidates in the form of saying sprints were my weakness but I was happy because I hit my goal which was police fit. His response was 'well that's not very fit'. Then went on to say the test was only base line fitness, blah, blah, blah. In one fell swoop he disregarded all the effort I had put in to get to that point. Then a 17 year old said it should be easy to do 50 push ups and level 11 on the sprints. Candidate #1 wasn't impressed with the young guys response due to his age. I told them both the suck it up because I was much older than them. Yeah sure it's funny that Candidate #1 got immediate karma but it still bugged me a bit.
It was the total disregard to my effort that pissed me off the most. He made a judgment based on his own paradigm of fitness, he has no concept as to what it is to be an almost 40 year old mother of two, who up until 18 months ago couldn't bring herself to exercise in any way other than the occasional walk to the shop (I figured being on my feet most days for work was enough). Me I now run 4 km's in about half an hour and in two and a half weeks or so that I'd improved my sprints from 2.8 and an 'OMG what the hell do I think I'm doing' to 5.2 sprints and 3 x 400m fartlek laps after. On top of all that I do weights and core training about 5 - 6 nights a week. This is a big thing. Up until about 2 months ago my exercise consisted of three 3km runs a week and even then it was an effort to drag my butt into my training shoes. Running is still not something I really like, I do however like weights, but it's not such a drag.
In two months I have come a huge way, so while these young gym monkeys who have very little life experience will continue to judge me on the me they see now, I need to remind myself that they know so very little. While I pursue this part of my life I should never lose sight of where I came from, it gives perspective and hopefully when I feel down, and yes even judged, I can hold on to the knowledge that I have already come one hell of a long way.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Yet Another Goal
If someone had told me 18 months ago that I would become fitness obsessed I would have probably collapsed laughing in their face. Funny what happens when you get angry enough with someone but aware enough to know you need to find a healthy way to deal with it.
That is why I started running... because I didn't want to take my stress and bad mood out on my family, they didn't deserve it. Various people told me I would love running, it would make me feel so great. Well that never happened. I got to need it, if I didn't go I felt terrible. At least physically it was working for me and definitely filled the title of stress reliever, but it was never something I really enjoyed.
Then we stumbled across this guy who posted get fit clips on youtube and somehow his short little workouts inspired me. Sure they were brutal but manageable at least once I'd done them a few times. Then came to buying of my own weights and I discovered something I really enjoyed. Oh don't get me wrong, the idea of going to a gym does not inspire me. In fact it is something that has rather the opposite effect. Weights though and cardio while I'm watching tv, now that I can do almost every night.
This fitness thing then led me to applying for the reserves, speaking of which I have my first interview next week, so in less than a weeks time I will know if I'm going through to the next round.
It seems though that my fitness focus is not yet over. My very dear friend Jodie came around last night and told me we were going to do this event called Tough Mudder. I was sure she had never mentioned it before, she insisted she had, a fact that in the grand scheme of things is neither her nor there. She described it to me, I looked it up and am now a little obsessed with being able to achieve this massive insane thing.
So it appears as if the power that is, is not yet finished with my fitness overhaul.
An 18-20 km run broken up by a whole heap of military style obstacles. Totally insane and yet here I sit planning out both my military physical training and now beyond to Mudder. It's a good thing Mudder isn't coming my way until next year.
Happy 40th birthday Kylie (yeah I know most girls would treat themselves to clothes, jewellery or accessories). Welcome to my party.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
I Have Done It Now
I now have a goal. I took my desire to find something new, a challenge and I have taken steps to pursue a totally different kind of thing.
A few months ago an idea came to me and I mulled on it for a while before deciding that when these positions opened up that I would apply, the draw back to this is that the whole process before you even find out if you have been accepted takes about 9 - 12 months. That is a fair chunk of time, so much can happen.
I accepted this would take a while so set about looking at other jobs and trying for a career change. Then out of no-where a thought came to me. I looked it up, checked out the application process, went in and spoke to someone to get more information and took the first step.
I am applying for the Army Reserves.
I know, at first glance it seems rather left of field. When I was younger I contemplated the airforce but back then women weren't allowed to fly jets so the appeal was lost a little for me. Until now it's simply not been something that entered my mind. The more I think about it at the moment the more it feels like the right thing.
Of course just because it feels like the right thing doesn't mean the recruiters are going to think we are a good match. However I have booked my first appointment and done a heap of research. Also I am working on being able to hit the physical fitness aspects; the push ups and sit ups aren't the problem I can already hit both required numbers. What is going to be tough is the shuttle runs. Sprints have never been my strong suit. Even all the running I've been doing the last 15 or so months doesn't make this challenge easy. If it was a distance run...well that is what I have been doing already but in some ways it doesn't prepare you for the sprints. Having said that, if I hadn't been doing the 3km runs then my cardio would struggle so much more.
In a way the funny thing is, before I decided to apply for the army, I was already working on my upper body strength. Hubby had bought me dumbbells for my own personal training before I even had this thought, and I have discovered I like weight training.
I have already improved quite a bit in the last few days since I've started the shuttle runs but somedays the difficulty of it is a bit disheartening. I only hope my own personal determination to achieve the goals I set before myself is up to this challenge. Past experience has shown I thrive on a challenge, so I'm going to be positive and back myself on this one too.
A few months ago an idea came to me and I mulled on it for a while before deciding that when these positions opened up that I would apply, the draw back to this is that the whole process before you even find out if you have been accepted takes about 9 - 12 months. That is a fair chunk of time, so much can happen.
I accepted this would take a while so set about looking at other jobs and trying for a career change. Then out of no-where a thought came to me. I looked it up, checked out the application process, went in and spoke to someone to get more information and took the first step.
I am applying for the Army Reserves.
I know, at first glance it seems rather left of field. When I was younger I contemplated the airforce but back then women weren't allowed to fly jets so the appeal was lost a little for me. Until now it's simply not been something that entered my mind. The more I think about it at the moment the more it feels like the right thing.
Of course just because it feels like the right thing doesn't mean the recruiters are going to think we are a good match. However I have booked my first appointment and done a heap of research. Also I am working on being able to hit the physical fitness aspects; the push ups and sit ups aren't the problem I can already hit both required numbers. What is going to be tough is the shuttle runs. Sprints have never been my strong suit. Even all the running I've been doing the last 15 or so months doesn't make this challenge easy. If it was a distance run...well that is what I have been doing already but in some ways it doesn't prepare you for the sprints. Having said that, if I hadn't been doing the 3km runs then my cardio would struggle so much more.
In a way the funny thing is, before I decided to apply for the army, I was already working on my upper body strength. Hubby had bought me dumbbells for my own personal training before I even had this thought, and I have discovered I like weight training.
I have already improved quite a bit in the last few days since I've started the shuttle runs but somedays the difficulty of it is a bit disheartening. I only hope my own personal determination to achieve the goals I set before myself is up to this challenge. Past experience has shown I thrive on a challenge, so I'm going to be positive and back myself on this one too.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Week Off
I am now at the end of my week off. Sadly in this week I did not win lotto so I have to go back to work next week.
On the up side school went back and it looks like Miss 8's teacher isn't going to make it easy for her to slack off this year, which is a very good thing. Also Miss 4 has now started full time education and seems to love it.
All this meant I had three days to indulge in writing and such.
Yesterday though things hit somewhat of a wall. This feeling and place is not all that unfamiliar to me. The truth is I get down periodically. It's a frustration and a need to find change. In short I'm bored with certain things in my life. At the moment the main source of that frustration is my job. I know how silly, I am a grown woman who is frustrated with work. Oh I like reading still but I think I've mastered the job I have. Oh by no means to I think I know everything, it's a changing landscape so there is always more to learn and experience, but retail?
Well truthfully it's the retail side of things that irritates me. Some customers are awesome others not so much. I am bored with having to deal with customers, those who have no idea what they are talking about and those who believe because you work in retail you don't have a brain. Firstly loads of people who work in retail are doing it while they study. Also there are those like me who went back into the work force after quite a bit of time out who take what they can get. Me I have a degree and an associate diploma but not having actively used them means many people look over you.
The other problem I have is retail offers very little in the way of challenge and advancement. Sure I could try for management but the pay isn't all that great when you consider the hours you are expected to work and the fact you don't often get to have weekends and the like to spend with friends and family.
Retail has a high turnover because it's pay stinks yet so much is expected of those who work in the industry. My hourly rate is less than I got paid 10 years ago in hospitality. I have a family to feed and increasing utilities to deal with. Admittedly I am fortunate to work specific hours that mean I still have time to spend with my kids. A lot of parental types are not so lucky. You work what hours they want you to work or you don't have a job.
I was talking to an acquaintance and she said she got hassled at work, which proclaimed to be a family friendly environment, every time she needed to take time to be with one of her kids. Then they had a restructure thrust upon them and were told they had to adapt to the new rules which erased all their flex time and meant they had to work longer hours to fit in with the other side of the country. How is this family friendly? Bottom line is it's not.
I would like a job that could challenge me intellectually, push me to learn new things to excel in other areas. I know I can do it, when I started in books I loved to read but had no knowledge of kid's books, I got thrust there because I had kids. Now I have a blog, I write for another blog, I have built up quite a decent network of industry contacts, all off my own back. I know I can learn, I know I can adapt but so many jobs aren't interested in your potential to learn and excel they are interested in your most recent experience or piece of paper showing your qualifications.
My life isn't over yet, there are other strands I'm looking to pursue, new things that will push me into new spheres. There are even things I would love to study but the courses range from $2000 to upwards of $20000 and when you are a parent in a low income family every dollar is strictly budgeted and $2000 for a course may as well be $20000.
Maybe I need to find an old fashioned benefactor. Someone with money to burn who is willing to take a chance on a mature kinda girl who just wants to experience some different things. I know I have potential I just wonder if I can advertise for that kind of thing on Craigslist or ebay. Maybe a video plea on youTube. If I get that desperate I promise to post a link.
On the up side school went back and it looks like Miss 8's teacher isn't going to make it easy for her to slack off this year, which is a very good thing. Also Miss 4 has now started full time education and seems to love it.
All this meant I had three days to indulge in writing and such.
Yesterday though things hit somewhat of a wall. This feeling and place is not all that unfamiliar to me. The truth is I get down periodically. It's a frustration and a need to find change. In short I'm bored with certain things in my life. At the moment the main source of that frustration is my job. I know how silly, I am a grown woman who is frustrated with work. Oh I like reading still but I think I've mastered the job I have. Oh by no means to I think I know everything, it's a changing landscape so there is always more to learn and experience, but retail?
Well truthfully it's the retail side of things that irritates me. Some customers are awesome others not so much. I am bored with having to deal with customers, those who have no idea what they are talking about and those who believe because you work in retail you don't have a brain. Firstly loads of people who work in retail are doing it while they study. Also there are those like me who went back into the work force after quite a bit of time out who take what they can get. Me I have a degree and an associate diploma but not having actively used them means many people look over you.
The other problem I have is retail offers very little in the way of challenge and advancement. Sure I could try for management but the pay isn't all that great when you consider the hours you are expected to work and the fact you don't often get to have weekends and the like to spend with friends and family.
Retail has a high turnover because it's pay stinks yet so much is expected of those who work in the industry. My hourly rate is less than I got paid 10 years ago in hospitality. I have a family to feed and increasing utilities to deal with. Admittedly I am fortunate to work specific hours that mean I still have time to spend with my kids. A lot of parental types are not so lucky. You work what hours they want you to work or you don't have a job.
I was talking to an acquaintance and she said she got hassled at work, which proclaimed to be a family friendly environment, every time she needed to take time to be with one of her kids. Then they had a restructure thrust upon them and were told they had to adapt to the new rules which erased all their flex time and meant they had to work longer hours to fit in with the other side of the country. How is this family friendly? Bottom line is it's not.
I would like a job that could challenge me intellectually, push me to learn new things to excel in other areas. I know I can do it, when I started in books I loved to read but had no knowledge of kid's books, I got thrust there because I had kids. Now I have a blog, I write for another blog, I have built up quite a decent network of industry contacts, all off my own back. I know I can learn, I know I can adapt but so many jobs aren't interested in your potential to learn and excel they are interested in your most recent experience or piece of paper showing your qualifications.
My life isn't over yet, there are other strands I'm looking to pursue, new things that will push me into new spheres. There are even things I would love to study but the courses range from $2000 to upwards of $20000 and when you are a parent in a low income family every dollar is strictly budgeted and $2000 for a course may as well be $20000.
Maybe I need to find an old fashioned benefactor. Someone with money to burn who is willing to take a chance on a mature kinda girl who just wants to experience some different things. I know I have potential I just wonder if I can advertise for that kind of thing on Craigslist or ebay. Maybe a video plea on youTube. If I get that desperate I promise to post a link.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Tired
Today has been tiring. Not because of anything I have done mind you but my girls. Miss 4 never seems to do anything at any pace other than flat out. Today she had me blindfold her so she could play hide and seek blindfolded. Or maybe it was chasey blindfolded. Or even both. She had a packet of crackers and decided to hold them out sideways while spinning around so they went all over the floor. She climbs on everything. She can't just stand there and ask a question but has to hang off you and try to pull your arm out of it's socket. Or there are the times she just wants to say hi or give you a hug and you end up with her launching herself at you from two feet away.
Her older sister is a little more sedate but prone to not listening to answers, or forgetting them two seconds later. Last night I told her she didn't have to do any pre-school work but she asked me several times. I told her she had to listen or next time I would give her maths stuff to do. Tonight she asked if she had to do any and I said well that will depend if I feel like it but prob not. Half an hour later she asked again. So much to her consternation she then had to do some. I hope this means she will learn to listen, but I sadly think not.
These girls of mine don't spend all their time in front of the tv or gaming, they spend time doing outside activities and playing as well as other imagination encouraging things and I still find myself a little worn out by them quite often. No time more so than when I am deeply invested in some story. Which is a problem at the moment because I have just started Game of Thrones - the Song of Ice and Fire series made extremely popular by the HBO series of the same name. It's been a while since I indulged in epic fantasy and I am loving it. With constant interruptions though I am finding myself a little short of temper.
The girls are usually very good, but it is the tail end of the school holidays, it's been ages since I've had a holiday and there are outside frustrations. It's a perfect storm of tiredness I think.
Or maybe weekends are just not long enough.
Her older sister is a little more sedate but prone to not listening to answers, or forgetting them two seconds later. Last night I told her she didn't have to do any pre-school work but she asked me several times. I told her she had to listen or next time I would give her maths stuff to do. Tonight she asked if she had to do any and I said well that will depend if I feel like it but prob not. Half an hour later she asked again. So much to her consternation she then had to do some. I hope this means she will learn to listen, but I sadly think not.
These girls of mine don't spend all their time in front of the tv or gaming, they spend time doing outside activities and playing as well as other imagination encouraging things and I still find myself a little worn out by them quite often. No time more so than when I am deeply invested in some story. Which is a problem at the moment because I have just started Game of Thrones - the Song of Ice and Fire series made extremely popular by the HBO series of the same name. It's been a while since I indulged in epic fantasy and I am loving it. With constant interruptions though I am finding myself a little short of temper.
The girls are usually very good, but it is the tail end of the school holidays, it's been ages since I've had a holiday and there are outside frustrations. It's a perfect storm of tiredness I think.
Or maybe weekends are just not long enough.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Resolutions
I'm not one for new year's resolutions, I kind of don't see the point. I like the intention but the idea of forming them the way people do, as often unattainable challenges for the year, well I don't see the point. However I do find the change of year a good time to evaluate life. Where it's going, what I'm doing and am I any closer to achieving what I want out of it.
The last few years I've really felt that THIS year is the year things are going to change for us and we will get our breakthrough. Needless to say we are still here and there hasn't been anything I would consider to be a breakthrough. Survival yes, breakthrough, not so much. So I've decided not to seek out a breakthrough this year. In fact I'm going to do my best to ignore the thought all together. Now that I've voiced it though it may not be so easy.
In the past I've decided I'm going to be more organised, somehow it never really lasts. This year I've just started being more organised. I write down certain things I need to do and make sure I do them. I know simple really isn't it. Always is when I start and I always start with the best intentions. I've managed it for two weeks so far.
The other thing is I think I need a career change. I know I want one. The way I'm thinking of going isn't a place I've thought of going before and if it wasn't for a chance encounter then I never would have considered it. Now I've done more than consider it, I've researched it and when the applications open I'm going for it. I still want to be a writer and act but I really want something that will challenge me and do more than put the food on the table. A house would be nice too. The thing with decisions like this is they often require great change. They require the willingness to leap out into the great unknown and take a chance.
A bit like faith in a way. We all know I struggle with that. I feel that many times I've flung myself out there and only just survived by the tips of my fingers. This year though seems like it may be a year of guts, courage and the ability to shut your eyes and say 'to hell with it'. My thoughts at this point are 'I hope you are in this God but I'm not waiting for you to say yay or nay, I'm flinging myself at this door anyway. If it's nay it'll hurt when I slam into the door but at least I will have tried.'
This year may not be a year of failed resolutions or breakthrough, but I hope at least to look back on it in 12 months and know it was the year I did my best.
The last few years I've really felt that THIS year is the year things are going to change for us and we will get our breakthrough. Needless to say we are still here and there hasn't been anything I would consider to be a breakthrough. Survival yes, breakthrough, not so much. So I've decided not to seek out a breakthrough this year. In fact I'm going to do my best to ignore the thought all together. Now that I've voiced it though it may not be so easy.
In the past I've decided I'm going to be more organised, somehow it never really lasts. This year I've just started being more organised. I write down certain things I need to do and make sure I do them. I know simple really isn't it. Always is when I start and I always start with the best intentions. I've managed it for two weeks so far.
The other thing is I think I need a career change. I know I want one. The way I'm thinking of going isn't a place I've thought of going before and if it wasn't for a chance encounter then I never would have considered it. Now I've done more than consider it, I've researched it and when the applications open I'm going for it. I still want to be a writer and act but I really want something that will challenge me and do more than put the food on the table. A house would be nice too. The thing with decisions like this is they often require great change. They require the willingness to leap out into the great unknown and take a chance.
A bit like faith in a way. We all know I struggle with that. I feel that many times I've flung myself out there and only just survived by the tips of my fingers. This year though seems like it may be a year of guts, courage and the ability to shut your eyes and say 'to hell with it'. My thoughts at this point are 'I hope you are in this God but I'm not waiting for you to say yay or nay, I'm flinging myself at this door anyway. If it's nay it'll hurt when I slam into the door but at least I will have tried.'
This year may not be a year of failed resolutions or breakthrough, but I hope at least to look back on it in 12 months and know it was the year I did my best.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Uh Oh...
The new year is here and Christmas already seems so very far away. It all seems as though things are right back to normal, sadly. There are so many things I wish would be or will turn out different this year. Most notably I think I'd like a little more good stuff and not so much struggling, though I know that in no way am I the only one struggling.
Already I'm working on part of me that I don't always do so well and that is the part that lets things go and relax. There is just one problem with that...I have a somewhat addictive personality and I get addicted to things like video games. We have a new game we have started, the game isn't new but is to us, and I am happy to sit there for ages and play. Of course then I feel bad about not working in that time on other things that may at some point give me success in other areas.
It's hard, that's all there is to it. If I want to have break throughs I have to work for them, but then in doing that something else has to give because I also have to work and make sure I spend time with my family. At times like this I really do wish there were a few more hours in the day.
Already I'm working on part of me that I don't always do so well and that is the part that lets things go and relax. There is just one problem with that...I have a somewhat addictive personality and I get addicted to things like video games. We have a new game we have started, the game isn't new but is to us, and I am happy to sit there for ages and play. Of course then I feel bad about not working in that time on other things that may at some point give me success in other areas.
It's hard, that's all there is to it. If I want to have break throughs I have to work for them, but then in doing that something else has to give because I also have to work and make sure I spend time with my family. At times like this I really do wish there were a few more hours in the day.
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