Blessed is the man who doesn’t walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.
Psalm 1:1
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.
Proverbs 15:22
I’ve been thinking about this sort of thing for a while, more specifically what to do when those who advise you do so with little to no understanding of what’s really in your heart. Of course I can’t really speak to anyone else’s experience so I’ll speak to my own.
Firstly I’ll give you an example from my marriage. When we had just had our first child my husband was playing in a cover band, gigging in pubs on weekends. It was at the time the only income we had apart from welfare. He was still playing in church but he’d do so after having had maybe three hours sleep (something he is still doing but at a different church). One day one of the leaders came up to us and said Steve should stop playing in the pubs and use his gift solely for the church. I think around that time I asked if they would pay the same as the gig, and of course that wasn’t about to happen.
Now similar things have happened to me. People just assume I am going to be involved in church drama and I have been at certain periods of time, but not at the moment and not often. Bottom line is I don’t like church drama, at least not like it tends to be where I’ve gone. When I say I’d much rather play a suicidal person or a psycho at a theatre rather than some weak character in some three minute skit, they don’t get it. They say I should use my gifts for God. They don’t understand how I could not be passionate about getting involved in church drama.
Here’s the thing though, there have been times when I’ve bitten the bullet and written stuff for church but no seems interested in those. I even wrote an entire worship service in response to a need and a lot of prayer, but one again they aren’t interested. I want to see interesting characters and 12 to 15 minute dramas that can be tied into messages. I don’t see why we can’t use these as opposed to film clips. I want to see things well-acted and yes even thought provoking, as opposed to the cheap giggles of seeing someone you may know on the stage.
So see it’s not that I’m not passionate about my gifts, it’s that there is no place for my gifts in the church. So where does that leave me. Do I bow to the advise of well-meaning people who say that God gave me my gifts to use for the church? Or do I follow my passion, keep challenging myself and keep hanging out with non-christians?
Then there are those people who say to me ‘I can’t wait for you to bring your acting friends to church. Why would I, I ask? Not for sketches that’s for sure. The people I know are performers, they watch and even study acting, and the stuff often done in the churches I’ve gone to just doesn’t cut it. I realise a lot of people like them and that’s fine just don’t expect me to.
So considering all this what do I do with my gifts? How do I find the right advice when the people most think you should go to for that advise simply don’t understand my passion or the industry. They think I should be content colouring inside the boxes they’ve designed for me. So what do I do when I’m not? What do I do when people aren’t interested in changing from boxes to heptagons? Do I compromise my passion and artistic integrity to toe the party line? Unfortunately I don’t do that very well. I like to have fun with my talent, I like to challenge myself artistically. So why do I feel rejected and unsupported if I choose to use my ability outside of a church environment?
Lest you think the only people I’m hearing from are church people, you should know my in-laws have there own thoughts. Now I love them dearly but being told I should consider teaching…now if they really knew me they would know I so don’t have the gifting to be a teacher. I don’t have the patience. My mother never understood my passion but she accepted it and in her own way supported it. My dad reckons ‘go for it’ – whatever it is. Well meaning friends and acquaintances say be careful. Very few people have actually bothered to ask why I feel led certain ways.
Very few have taken the time to invest in my talent. The people who support my talent are often those outside my faith or on the edge (those who have faith but are moving away from church and organised religion). I am good at what I do. I have worked at it and I studied it. This burns in my veins. It is what I desperately want to do. It’s what relaxes and calms me. It’s what fires me up.
So where does all this leave me and those like me? Those of us who are gifted and passionate. Those of us who want to stay true to our giftings, callings and passions. Or is it simply a matter of forsaking the search for advice and know that the path before me is difficult and at the best of times people not on that path just don’t have a grasp of it?
How do I find people who can stand with me, offer guidance, support and prayer? Where do I go to look for that counsel? How do I walk that balance of faith and ability?
