The new year is here and Christmas already seems so very far away. It all seems as though things are right back to normal, sadly. There are so many things I wish would be or will turn out different this year. Most notably I think I'd like a little more good stuff and not so much struggling, though I know that in no way am I the only one struggling.
Already I'm working on part of me that I don't always do so well and that is the part that lets things go and relax. There is just one problem with that...I have a somewhat addictive personality and I get addicted to things like video games. We have a new game we have started, the game isn't new but is to us, and I am happy to sit there for ages and play. Of course then I feel bad about not working in that time on other things that may at some point give me success in other areas.
It's hard, that's all there is to it. If I want to have break throughs I have to work for them, but then in doing that something else has to give because I also have to work and make sure I spend time with my family. At times like this I really do wish there were a few more hours in the day.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Merry Christmas
I will be back next year with more writing news, rants and chaos without doubt. In the mean time though should you read this then know I am wishing you a very merry, joyous and safe Christmas. Take safe and enjoy the time with your friends and family.
I pray that you are blessed and hopefully your walk is at least a little smooth at times. I'm not naive enough to wish for plain sailing all the time, how are we ever going to stretch and learn that way. Of course it would be nicer if we didn't have to.
Blessings and joy to you.
I pray that you are blessed and hopefully your walk is at least a little smooth at times. I'm not naive enough to wish for plain sailing all the time, how are we ever going to stretch and learn that way. Of course it would be nicer if we didn't have to.
Blessings and joy to you.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
A Question
So it's another saturday night and I've been watching Tim Minchin. I think he is a very clever man. Thing is though he is quite clearly an atheist and has been very vocal in his opinion about christians. So this brings me to a question - is it wrong that I enjoy listening to/watching Tim Minchin's performances?'
Without a question I know there will be those who don't approve.
I also find him thought provoking.
I think listening to people like this really is thought provoking. Comedians either connect with you or they don't. However they are in many ways a good mirror for society. They let you know what many people are thinking or feeling.
His songs like Context are funny and so much more. Whether he actually wants to provoke thought or just entertain I don't know, and to be honest I don't much care.
The bible says for Christians to be the light of the world but sometimes we should take a step back maybe and see what sort of light it is we are shining on the world.
Oh I am fully aware that I am not what many people would consider to be a good christian, in fact luke warm is a phrase that springs to mind. The thing is I do believe in God, I don't think he is a 2011 year old zombie, I believe some things simply transcend our understanding. My problems lie more with the things people have done and continue to do in the name of religion.
Actually this, strangely brings to mind a scene from a popular children's book...
'Dad,' I said. 'When I was in the maze, I met Antaeus. He said...well, he said he was your favourite son. He decorated his arena with skulls and '
'He dedicated them to me.' Poseidon supplied. 'And you are wondering how someone could do something so horrible in my name.'
I nodded uncomfortably.
Poseidon put his weathered hand on my shoulder. 'Percy, lesser beings do many horrible things in the name of the gods. That does not mean we approve. The way our sons and daughters act in our names...well, it usually says more about them than it does about us...'
From Percy Jackson and the Battle of the Labyrinth - Rick Riordan
Which illustrates the point I am trying to make perfectly. How much of what christians have done and continue to do really is a better reflection of who they are and what they are afraid of, than what God really intended?
It is easy to see I struggle with my faith, not so much the inward manifestation of it rather the outward manifestation. I believe there is a God, I believe Christ came, died and rose again. I believe there are angels and demons and I believe people have done more damage in the name of their god (whomever they believe that to be) than pretty much anything else.
I don't preach and yes I often get embarrassed when I see people doing so on the street. I will talk about my faith, I will tell you why I believe and it is more than just because of my mother's influence. I believe because I have experienced. Yes I was perhaps more open to the experience than others might be. I have felt the peaceful presence in an emotional storm. I have felt the utter certainty that things will happen and it will be more than it seems on the surface.
I understand the confusion though and why people struggle to believe. When there are wars, and criminals doing so many stupid & violent things, when there is disease and homelessness, sex crimes and slavery. It is so easy to see why people question, yet many people of my faith seem not to understand. They instead get on a soap box and say that certain things are wrong and the world is going to hell in a hand basket.
Well duh!
That in fact is the problem with free will. We are free to choose and not everyone will chose for someone other than themselves.
The problem with faith isn't really the faith it is the people involved who corrupt faith and therefore how it appears to others.
One thing I do know though is that the God I know has one heck of a sense of humour. If he didn't he wouldn't have used the calendar I posed naked for (to raise money for research ovarian cancer) to get a friend who hasn't spoken to me in ages, who cut me out of her life for some reason, to message me. I kid you not and I think that is funny even if you don't.
So Tim Minchin makes me think and makes me laugh. He's talking about guilty pleasures at the moment and I guess in some way that is really appropriate.
Without a question I know there will be those who don't approve.
I also find him thought provoking.
I think listening to people like this really is thought provoking. Comedians either connect with you or they don't. However they are in many ways a good mirror for society. They let you know what many people are thinking or feeling.
His songs like Context are funny and so much more. Whether he actually wants to provoke thought or just entertain I don't know, and to be honest I don't much care.
The bible says for Christians to be the light of the world but sometimes we should take a step back maybe and see what sort of light it is we are shining on the world.
Oh I am fully aware that I am not what many people would consider to be a good christian, in fact luke warm is a phrase that springs to mind. The thing is I do believe in God, I don't think he is a 2011 year old zombie, I believe some things simply transcend our understanding. My problems lie more with the things people have done and continue to do in the name of religion.
Actually this, strangely brings to mind a scene from a popular children's book...
'Dad,' I said. 'When I was in the maze, I met Antaeus. He said...well, he said he was your favourite son. He decorated his arena with skulls and '
'He dedicated them to me.' Poseidon supplied. 'And you are wondering how someone could do something so horrible in my name.'
I nodded uncomfortably.
Poseidon put his weathered hand on my shoulder. 'Percy, lesser beings do many horrible things in the name of the gods. That does not mean we approve. The way our sons and daughters act in our names...well, it usually says more about them than it does about us...'
From Percy Jackson and the Battle of the Labyrinth - Rick Riordan
Which illustrates the point I am trying to make perfectly. How much of what christians have done and continue to do really is a better reflection of who they are and what they are afraid of, than what God really intended?
It is easy to see I struggle with my faith, not so much the inward manifestation of it rather the outward manifestation. I believe there is a God, I believe Christ came, died and rose again. I believe there are angels and demons and I believe people have done more damage in the name of their god (whomever they believe that to be) than pretty much anything else.
I don't preach and yes I often get embarrassed when I see people doing so on the street. I will talk about my faith, I will tell you why I believe and it is more than just because of my mother's influence. I believe because I have experienced. Yes I was perhaps more open to the experience than others might be. I have felt the peaceful presence in an emotional storm. I have felt the utter certainty that things will happen and it will be more than it seems on the surface.
I understand the confusion though and why people struggle to believe. When there are wars, and criminals doing so many stupid & violent things, when there is disease and homelessness, sex crimes and slavery. It is so easy to see why people question, yet many people of my faith seem not to understand. They instead get on a soap box and say that certain things are wrong and the world is going to hell in a hand basket.
Well duh!
That in fact is the problem with free will. We are free to choose and not everyone will chose for someone other than themselves.
The problem with faith isn't really the faith it is the people involved who corrupt faith and therefore how it appears to others.
One thing I do know though is that the God I know has one heck of a sense of humour. If he didn't he wouldn't have used the calendar I posed naked for (to raise money for research ovarian cancer) to get a friend who hasn't spoken to me in ages, who cut me out of her life for some reason, to message me. I kid you not and I think that is funny even if you don't.
So Tim Minchin makes me think and makes me laugh. He's talking about guilty pleasures at the moment and I guess in some way that is really appropriate.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
In Brief
If people didn't give into to their baser desires, our children would be much safer. Our innocents, whatever the age would be looked after. Greedy, selfish bastards of either sex, would get their just desserts.
I am lucky and I often forget that. But geez it pisses me off that I live in a world where there is a child sex trade, and human trafficking.
So much for civilization.
I am lucky and I often forget that. But geez it pisses me off that I live in a world where there is a child sex trade, and human trafficking.
So much for civilization.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Being Alone
It's funny in a way I suppose, how much I enjoy being left alone. I find myself often unwilling to go out and socialise on the weekend because that is my time to be at home. That is my time for me and it often feels as though socialising takes that away from me.
I suppose that is a very selfish attitude.
The flip side of that is look at two of my very favourite past times. I love to read and I love to write. neither of these things require interaction with other people.
I love the solitude.
We went to a party today and ended up being there with two families the had five kids and they were saying that somehow five seemed to be a cut off point for many people they know. All I could think of was when would I get anything done with five kids. I love my girls and try to spend time with them, separately and together but boy there are times I wish they would just leave me alone. There is no way I could handle any more kids.
Then tomorrow we have three invitations, one we have rescheduled and one is just for me but still it means I won't be sitting curled up on my couch reading, or with a pen in my hand.
There are times I really wish the world could just go on without me. I would like to close the door and just be alone. To that end it doesn't bother me so much that hubby gigs I don't mind the time to be the only one awake and able to do what ever I feel like, be that reading, watching crappy tv or writing.
Tonight I have done both and it has been wonderful. Tomorrow we will go to a friends place just to catch up and I will go and say goodbye to another friend of mine who is leaving the country.
Maybe, just maybe in amongst that I will find time to clean my desk, which actually really needs it at the moment, and do the washing, which is a necessity but well falls under the column of housework, which we all know I pretty well suck at.
It might be possible for me to get something read tomorrow. If I'm very, very sneaky.
I suppose that is a very selfish attitude.
The flip side of that is look at two of my very favourite past times. I love to read and I love to write. neither of these things require interaction with other people.
I love the solitude.
We went to a party today and ended up being there with two families the had five kids and they were saying that somehow five seemed to be a cut off point for many people they know. All I could think of was when would I get anything done with five kids. I love my girls and try to spend time with them, separately and together but boy there are times I wish they would just leave me alone. There is no way I could handle any more kids.
Then tomorrow we have three invitations, one we have rescheduled and one is just for me but still it means I won't be sitting curled up on my couch reading, or with a pen in my hand.
There are times I really wish the world could just go on without me. I would like to close the door and just be alone. To that end it doesn't bother me so much that hubby gigs I don't mind the time to be the only one awake and able to do what ever I feel like, be that reading, watching crappy tv or writing.
Tonight I have done both and it has been wonderful. Tomorrow we will go to a friends place just to catch up and I will go and say goodbye to another friend of mine who is leaving the country.
Maybe, just maybe in amongst that I will find time to clean my desk, which actually really needs it at the moment, and do the washing, which is a necessity but well falls under the column of housework, which we all know I pretty well suck at.
It might be possible for me to get something read tomorrow. If I'm very, very sneaky.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Girls, Women, Healthy Attitudes
My girls are very precious to me and I am trying very hard to make sure they grow up with healthy self-esteems. This may seem like an easy task, to which I would respond sadly with the comment, that you obviously don't have girls. This world we live in is still very male-centric for all we say we have come forward in our thinking and attitudes. Let's face it we shouldn't need to have a white ribbon day where man vow not to abuse, in any way, women.
Now my girls don't have barbies and I prefer Dora as a role model, I don't wear much make up, or fuss muchly about clothes and appearance. I also prefer Keladry of Mindelan to Bella Swan (look it up). I am more about doing it than having it done for me. Ye despite me thinking that this would be a good grounding for them, I still face this problem.
Every week I find times to tell them that they are beautiful no matter what they wear, or it's important to be a good person not just pretty, or that they don't need someone else (a man) to rescue them, or variations on these themes.
My eldest has had several boys chasing her which at her age means flowers - real, letters scratched into a cement verge, and a written letter of proposal - (NB she is 8). She has said to us that she doesn't want to go out with any of these boys because she doesn't love them. YAY! her. I told her that was fine.
Recently both of them were playing princess's trapped in towers and asked me to find a prince to rescue them. I asked why they couldn't rescue themselves. My youngest decided that if this was an option she would be happy to do that. A choice that made me very happy.
Now I'm not a huge feminist or anything like that but I'm seeing a disturbing trend in young relationships where girls figure they have to be dependant on guys. Then there is all the other stuff to do with how women are portrayed and marketed to, what they get from friends, school and music. Yes even seemingly harmless things like the disney princess can send messages you may not realise they are sending, about needing an relationship for happily ever after and so on. I'm even thinking about getting copies of the original fairy tales so my girls can get the stories as they were not as they've been doctored to be. You know were Ariel dies because the prince is so damn fickle, she sacrifices everything for nothing. Now I like the disney movies and I even like a couple of the princesses Belle is my favourite, she refuses Gaston and sacrifices for her father.
My task with my girls is on going. The way is to find ways to get my girls thinking outside the apparent ingrained ways of society and that is something I need to remember and not become complacent about.
Now my girls don't have barbies and I prefer Dora as a role model, I don't wear much make up, or fuss muchly about clothes and appearance. I also prefer Keladry of Mindelan to Bella Swan (look it up). I am more about doing it than having it done for me. Ye despite me thinking that this would be a good grounding for them, I still face this problem.
Every week I find times to tell them that they are beautiful no matter what they wear, or it's important to be a good person not just pretty, or that they don't need someone else (a man) to rescue them, or variations on these themes.
My eldest has had several boys chasing her which at her age means flowers - real, letters scratched into a cement verge, and a written letter of proposal - (NB she is 8). She has said to us that she doesn't want to go out with any of these boys because she doesn't love them. YAY! her. I told her that was fine.
Recently both of them were playing princess's trapped in towers and asked me to find a prince to rescue them. I asked why they couldn't rescue themselves. My youngest decided that if this was an option she would be happy to do that. A choice that made me very happy.
Now I'm not a huge feminist or anything like that but I'm seeing a disturbing trend in young relationships where girls figure they have to be dependant on guys. Then there is all the other stuff to do with how women are portrayed and marketed to, what they get from friends, school and music. Yes even seemingly harmless things like the disney princess can send messages you may not realise they are sending, about needing an relationship for happily ever after and so on. I'm even thinking about getting copies of the original fairy tales so my girls can get the stories as they were not as they've been doctored to be. You know were Ariel dies because the prince is so damn fickle, she sacrifices everything for nothing. Now I like the disney movies and I even like a couple of the princesses Belle is my favourite, she refuses Gaston and sacrifices for her father.
My task with my girls is on going. The way is to find ways to get my girls thinking outside the apparent ingrained ways of society and that is something I need to remember and not become complacent about.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
What To Say?
These last couple of weeks have been a little frantic. That is to say I have been really, really busy. Mostly it's because I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year, for those who don't know that means writing 50 000 words of a story in 30 days.
In amongst all this I have work, family, a father in law in hospital with only 30% of his heart working, my mother in law living with us for the interim, plus all the other things I usually do.
Added to all this, probably not surprisingly I am feeling a little stressed.
When this happens there are certain things I really feel the want to rant and rail against things. Right now yes I'm frustrated with how things are but more than anything I want to rant about these polls on facebook about gay marriage. I am getting inundated with people I know answering this poll with - no gays shouldn't be allowed to marry. And you know what? I want to scream at them saying why not! Seriously have any of them really looked around at the relationships on display in our society. So many unmarried people with loads of kids. So many divorces. So much anger, disappointment. Should not everyone be allowed to choose who they spend their lives with. I know some gay and lesbian couples who have been together longer than some hetero relationships.
Marriage used to mean something. But then religious people only look at the parts of the bible they want to look at when it comes to these things. And I will admit right now there are probably a heap of references in the bible I've missed but here's just a couple of things to think on.
*Divorce rate among christians is basically the same as non christians
*Solomon had hundreds of wives
*Yes Sodom and Gomorrah were bad but they were bad for a whole bunch of reasons not just one
Surely we are able to realise that sometimes things change in societies and these changes aren't always bad. I wouldn't want to be part of a society were women had as few rights as they did in bible times. I know too many stories of 'good' hetero couples treating their kids and partners badly. Also seriously as much as I'd hate to even use this next word in any blog post I'm going to - Kardashian. I don't know which one but heck her wedding came in at around $10million and the marriage lasted 72 days - this is what we are trying to protect? Really open your eyes have a look around, I don't think same sex couples are going to ruin the institution of marriage, I just don't think it's in that good a place.
I'm very fortunate to have found the right man for me, but I have friends who have been treated nothing but badly by men and truly believe they have found the right woman for them. And I nearly screwed that friendship because I said I still loved her but didn't necessarily like her choice. You know what...it's not my damn choice. She deserves happiness as much as I do and her partner makes her happy. No they won't procreate together but heck a lot of couples are choosing not to and a lot of unmarrieds are having many, even to different partners.
I really think this, as an issue, is probably a pretty unimportant one in the scheme of things.
In amongst all this I have work, family, a father in law in hospital with only 30% of his heart working, my mother in law living with us for the interim, plus all the other things I usually do.
Added to all this, probably not surprisingly I am feeling a little stressed.
When this happens there are certain things I really feel the want to rant and rail against things. Right now yes I'm frustrated with how things are but more than anything I want to rant about these polls on facebook about gay marriage. I am getting inundated with people I know answering this poll with - no gays shouldn't be allowed to marry. And you know what? I want to scream at them saying why not! Seriously have any of them really looked around at the relationships on display in our society. So many unmarried people with loads of kids. So many divorces. So much anger, disappointment. Should not everyone be allowed to choose who they spend their lives with. I know some gay and lesbian couples who have been together longer than some hetero relationships.
Marriage used to mean something. But then religious people only look at the parts of the bible they want to look at when it comes to these things. And I will admit right now there are probably a heap of references in the bible I've missed but here's just a couple of things to think on.
*Divorce rate among christians is basically the same as non christians
*Solomon had hundreds of wives
*Yes Sodom and Gomorrah were bad but they were bad for a whole bunch of reasons not just one
Surely we are able to realise that sometimes things change in societies and these changes aren't always bad. I wouldn't want to be part of a society were women had as few rights as they did in bible times. I know too many stories of 'good' hetero couples treating their kids and partners badly. Also seriously as much as I'd hate to even use this next word in any blog post I'm going to - Kardashian. I don't know which one but heck her wedding came in at around $10million and the marriage lasted 72 days - this is what we are trying to protect? Really open your eyes have a look around, I don't think same sex couples are going to ruin the institution of marriage, I just don't think it's in that good a place.
I'm very fortunate to have found the right man for me, but I have friends who have been treated nothing but badly by men and truly believe they have found the right woman for them. And I nearly screwed that friendship because I said I still loved her but didn't necessarily like her choice. You know what...it's not my damn choice. She deserves happiness as much as I do and her partner makes her happy. No they won't procreate together but heck a lot of couples are choosing not to and a lot of unmarrieds are having many, even to different partners.
I really think this, as an issue, is probably a pretty unimportant one in the scheme of things.
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