For me religion has become so structured and organised. If you don't fit in to the box labeled christian it seems sometimes that the church just doesn't know what to do with you.
I was at a service last week and they were talking about their vision for the youth and kids. While they were talking I was thinking that maybe I could get involved with some sort of youth programme, after all it is one of the issues I feel strongly about. Thing is from past experience I'm not sure how well I fit into these sort of programmes. I'm more a sort of come in for a one off thing. I guess that's why I sort of hope the YA novel I'm working on will get publication, because that would open the door to speaking engagements. It's not the speaking itself that drives me but the fact I could openly talk about some things I know others avoid.
I don't know, I'm going to leave this in God's hands, it's not something I plan on pursuing actively in itself.
Speaking in front of others doesn't scare me so much. Talking about my past and the rough things I've experienced doesn't even particularly bother me. Being treated as a joke does but that's a fear a lot of us share. Truthfully I don't want to limit myself to a church environment.
There is still a long way to go with the novel though and I really must make sure I don't get ahead of myself.
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