Sunday, September 27, 2009

Won't Somebody Help Me?

I am a book junkie. On Thursday I bought a new book. I finished it Thursday night. Knew I was going to pay for it Friday morning but I didn’t care, I had to finish it. I did pay, though not how I thought I would. I slept late so I didn’t have time to drag my feet, be grumpy or feel sorry for lack of sleep.

My new job is proving to be a touch dangerous to my ability to balance the household budget, I keep finding new authors to buy. It was different when I wasn’t in this environment, then I was able to stick to authors I knew or where recommended by friends. Now my circle of reading influence has greatly increased and I’m surrounded by books and readers all week.

ARGHHHH! If anyone wants to take pity on this poor addict gift cards or cash will be greatly appreciated. It would be a tragic day if I had to turn to crime to support my habit.

Monday, September 21, 2009

First Lines

As a writer you hear about the importance of the first sentence. As a reader I’ve never really judged a book by that one criterion. Admittedly I decided to take a book home based on the first sentence but I tend to go for more than that.

Anyway today I met someone who chose their books that way. If the first sentence or two didn’t have enough description like he wanted (you know the building as opposed to the character, that sort of thing) then he didn’t want to bother with the book.

I can’t imagine reading that way, there is so very much you would miss out on.

Some first sentences – decide for yourself.

The storm had broken. Pug danced along the edge of the rocks, his feet finding scant purchase as he made his way among the tide pools.

When he was nearly thirteen, my brother Jem got his arm badly broken at the elbow. When it healed, and Jem’s fears of never being able to play football were assuaged, he was seldom self-conscious about his injury.

The nation had watched Shaiana cry so many times. Heard her voice crack as she struggled to complete her sentence.

My father’s family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip. So I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip.

She wanted only to sleep. The plane touched down two hours late and there’d been a marathon wait for the luggage.

There was once a young man who wished to gain his Heart’s desire. And while that is, as beginnings go, not entirely novel (for every tale about every young man there ever was or will be could start in a similar manner) there was much about this young man and what happened to him that was unusual, although he never knew the whole of it.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

A surging, seething, murmuring crowd of beings that are human only in name, for to the eye and ear they seem naught but savage creatures, animated by vile passions and by the lust of vengeance and of hate. The hour, some little time before sunset, and the place, the West Barricade, at the very spot where, a decade later, a proud tyrant raised an undying monument to the nations glory and his own vanity.

The race was barely nine minutes old when Jason Chaser lost his steering rudder, At 690 kilometres an hour.

1801-I have just returned from a visit to my landlord-the solitary neighbour that I shall be troubled with. This is certainly a beautiful country!

This inscription could be seen on the glass door of a small shop, but naturally the was only the way it looked if you were inside the dimly lit shop, looking out at the street through the plate glass door. Outside, it was a gray, cold, rainy November morning.

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and having nothing to do; one or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, “and what is the use of a book,” thought Alice, “Without picture or conversations?”

This is the story of an adventure that happened in Narnia and Calormen and the lands between, in the Golden Age when Peter was High King in Narnia and his brother and two sisters were King and Queens under him. In those days, far south in Calormen on a little creek of the sea, there lived a poor fisherman called Arsheesh, and with him there lived a boy who called him Father.

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.

Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.

In fairy-tales, witches always wear silly black hats and black cloaks, and they ride on broomsticks. But this is not a fairy-tale. This is about REAL WITCHES.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

My Rules For What Your Kids Should Read

Okay here’s the thing, there really is only one rule.

Read It First!

Genre is subjective and lets face it good writing can be not a necessary consideration, as lone as people invest in the story and characters.

Read It First!

Or at least find someone you trust to recommend for you or read it first.

Here’s the thing something’s simply aren’t appropriate reading. Remember the young adult fiction is rated 12/3 to 18 and a lot of the issues dealt with aren’t necessary for children of that age to read.

Now before you jump on me about being naïve, understand that this is my work as well as something I love, I’m not naïve. I’ve had feedback from parents saying they want something that has no relationship and angst issues because the kids reading the books aren’t able to cope yet with the things bought up.

Then of course my biggest point of concern at the moment…Twilight. This series of books isn’t appropriate reading for young readers. Just because your ten year old has friends who read the books doesn’t mean your child should be doing the same.

Do yourself a favour and read them first. If you still think they are fine then go ahead. And if you don’t care what they read then feel free to ignore my opinion.

This isn’t just a Twilight thing there are a lot of books that should be vetoed first.

Thinking about all this got me to considering what I read when I was younger. Truth is I’m not sure there was a YA section back then.

So anyway, here’s what I remember.

Age 8 – Famous Five

Trixie Belden

Age 10/11 - Nancy Drew

The Neverending Story

Age 12 to 15 – Feist fantasy’s

Other fantasy

Agatha Christie

Sweet Valley High

Francine Pascal

Puberty Blues

Sweet Dreams

My First Love and Other Disasters

I was an avid reader and yes I got into some quite explicit books by the time I was 15 but until then…well go back and read them if you can find them, they are quite tame by comparison.

Once again it’s not me trying to be naïve, mostly I just think kids should be allowed to be kids, to learn and grow without being expected to think or feel certain things they may not be ready for.

For goodness sake. Lets allow our kids to be kids and enjoy reading, it can be fun.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Expectations

I’ve just been cast in another play and I know it’s going to be a blast. I can’t help but wonder how I managed to not do anything for three years. Now this’ll be my fourth play in 18 months.

I love being someone else. I love the adrenaline rush of being on stage. I love getting feedback like “I wonder if that’s what she’s like in person?”, when I’m nothing like the character I’m playing. I’m grateful for the friendships I’ve found in the theatre.

For all the fragility of being involved in performance; all the self-doubt in my abilities, it’s one place I feel loved and I don’t mean empty accolades like ‘oh we think you’re great…’ I’m talking about being accepted. Truly accepted for who I am.

I just realised something. I don’t expect my friends from the theatre to understand or be interested in my faith, yet I expect people from church to be interested in my theatrical pursuits. I have a double standard in my life that I wasn’t even aware of. Huh!

It just goes to show how much I am responsible for those layers of hurt, hardness, protection I mentioned in ‘A Hard Heart’.

I expected more from people who are Christians because…I guess I just figured they should be genuinely interested in what my interests are. That’s a pretty selfish thought.

It’s put me on the other side. I once told a friend that I liked her but not a choice she had made. It put a huge gap between us because I didn’t understand how that hurt her. Years later we found each other again and she told me how I’d hurt her. To her the issue was more to do with who she was, not just a choice she had made. Now I am on the flip side. I feel the creative is not just a matter of interests or hobby but rather an integral part of me.

So much in life is a matter of perspective and we are all human. We all see things through different colour lenses. We all rate things as having different values.

Wow. Something else to work on. Fortunately like most things, the first step is recognising the problem and now I’ve done that I can start to make my choices with a better frame of reference. It reminds me that often we travel through life with blinders on – not just tinted glasses. How much better would things be if we periodically take a moment or two to step back, take a good look at ourselves and see how we have blinded ourselves to ourselves.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

A Hard Heart

Okay, so this isn’t going to be pleasant. No-one likes to admit that they have a hard heart, but I think I have to. Ouch!

Oh my heart isn’t rock hard. I still cry at movies; scream at the news; my heart still aches for the girl who feels she’s unworthy to be loved by someone who will cherish her and treat her right; and the person who cuts because they don’t know another way to deal with the pain on the inside.

I also still want to know God.

However I have become incredibly questioning and cynical.

The silliest things bother me. For example; a sentence that effectively, in the whole of a sermon, is a joining or throw-away line, jars me as wrong or incorrect. I pick holes in the smallest of details like speaking style and certain sentences, even though there is nothing necessarily wrong with the preaching.

I think it’s like my heart is covered in a hard shell of wax and now stuff bounces or slides off the smooth exterior. Layer after layer has been added over it as certain things have happened: years of feeling as though people want me to fit into their boxes; of feeling more tolerated than anything else because people wanted my husband’s skills as a muso; of being told by leaders in church that I’m bossy, prickly and difficult to get to know.

Now I’ve enough age and experience, to know these things about me aren’t total untruths. I do speak my mind and I often wear my emotions on my sleeve. I was once told my opinion was valued but when I spoke up and offered it, I was promptly informed the issue was none of my concern. I also don’t seem to get into the things lots of mum’s in the church environment do and so I don’t really feel relaxed at these things. (Then again I didn’t even feel really comfortable at playgroup and that had nothing to do with church.)

It’s because of things like these that many of us build walls, or for the sake of the earlier analogy, I pour another layer of wax protection around my heart. So now here I find myself, still wanting to love God but somehow distant and dry. I think it’s a little sad that I don’t feel the freedom anymore to truly and freely worship in public.

It’s amazingly sad when we consider that often it’s the things we do to ourselves, even whilst telling ourselves that it’s others doing it to us, that cause the problems. Sure I could say it’s what others said or did to me, but it is at least as much to do with my actions or reactions. I can’t control others only myself. I can also learn that there are few who actually need to understand me. First and foremost on that list would be me. I need to know who I am, what my calling and place is and focus on that. It helps, of course, that my husband understands me and I think at times he does this better than I do.

Part of my problem stems from my struggle to be what I feel others deem a ‘good Christian’ should be. I feel I should be understood and accepted and if I’m not then I’m not ‘good’ enough at what ever it is I’m supposed to be ‘good’ at. It is sometimes difficult to remember that ‘good Christian’ is a human construct and as such prone to human failings.

All I can really be is the best ‘me’ I can, after all I was created this way, artistic temperament and all. Of course that doesn’t mean I don’t have things that need to be worked on – patience continually being one of those things. But for now I need to start cracking away at the wax and allow myself to accept that it’s not other people’s responsibility to understand me. I need to let that go and allow myself to be free to be me and at the same time allow others the same grace. Then, chip by chip, the shell will begin to crack open.