15 Years and Some

I've been married to the best man ever for a little more than 15 years now. Like every marriage (I guess) we have high points and low points. Today now my man has gotten on a plane to go to his half brother's funeral. Funerals are difficult times but that isn't what I wanted to talk about right now.
I actually want to get a bit pukey. Hubby hasn't even been gone for 3 hours yet and I miss him. Silly right?
Thing is though this is the longest we will be apart since our youngest was born 5 and a half years ago. I work 12 hour shifts which is longer than he has been gone, I can work 36 hours in 3 days and yet there is something to be said for the knowledge of going home to my man. I can work madly but know things will be fine because my man is home. I can do so many things, I get involved in theatre shows, I go shopping, I even occasionally do girly things like getting my hair done. Hubby gigs, spends time in music stores, and does stuff with his mates. So it's not even remotely like we have to do everything together.
Yet for 4 days we will be in different cities, and somehow I feel a little lost.
Sure I know he will be back and I know I will get through these four days but the heart feels what it feels and I miss him. Be safe baby and come home soon.
You know what else? I really, really know just how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man who understands me in all my craziness and silliness and well just plain weirdness. Sure it may be silly to miss him but I don't care, that's just how much I love him.

Slow But Steady

Life is marching on. My body is making it a little hard to train at the moment, I have a hideous cough that had pretty much laid me out for the last week. Part of me really misses the training, I've tried a couple of sessions (weights) but no running, it hasn't been easy or had the desired effect. I live in hope that this cough has to go away soon.
My writing is also going along slow and steady. I've even had a break through there, which is always a good thing.
There are things that have bothered me this week but that is to be expected. One, I'm reading about private contractors and the War on Terror. One of the things that disturbs me most is the things some of these people are doing in the name of christianity. The more I read the more I wonder about being a christian. I believe in God but sometimes it's really difficult to want to stand up and be identified with others who claim to be christians. These contractors, politicians and agents aren't the only ones who cause this feeling.
I am getting a little fed up with requests to sign petitions against gay marriage. There I've said it. I quite frankly don't care who you love. I cannot see how allowing same sex marriage will destroy the institution of marriage, seriously when was the last time some of these people looked at the divorce rate. Also not sure how it will destroy family either. I live in an area with high de facto, high divorce, high teenage pregnancy and high 'children from different parents' rates. I'd say family is pretty messed up already.
Okay that's all I am going to say on the matter. I'm not going to rant. I'm not going to get worked up. I am just going to slowly and steadily go on about my way, while trying to figure out how to keep my faith out of the way of religion.

What To Say?

These last couple of weeks have been a little frantic. That is to say I have been really, really busy. Mostly it's because I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year, for those who don't know that means writing 50 000 words of a story in 30 days.
In amongst all this I have work, family, a father in law in hospital with only 30% of his heart working, my mother in law living with us for the interim, plus all the other things I usually do.
Added to all this, probably not surprisingly I am feeling a little stressed.
When this happens there are certain things I really feel the want to rant and rail against things. Right now yes I'm frustrated with how things are but more than anything I want to rant about these polls on facebook about gay marriage. I am getting inundated with people I know answering this poll with - no gays shouldn't be allowed to marry. And you know what? I want to scream at them saying why not! Seriously have any of them really looked around at the relationships on display in our society. So many unmarried people with loads of kids. So many divorces. So much anger, disappointment. Should not everyone be allowed to choose who they spend their lives with. I know some gay and lesbian couples who have been together longer than some hetero relationships.
Marriage used to mean something. But then religious people only look at the parts of the bible they want to look at when it comes to these things. And I will admit right now there are probably a heap of references in the bible I've missed but here's just a couple of things to think on.
*Divorce rate among christians is basically the same as non christians
*Solomon had hundreds of wives
*Yes Sodom and Gomorrah were bad but they were bad for a whole bunch of reasons not just one
Surely we are able to realise that sometimes things change in societies and these changes aren't always bad. I wouldn't want to be part of a society were women had as few rights as they did in bible times. I know too many stories of 'good' hetero couples treating their kids and partners badly. Also seriously as much as I'd hate to even use this next word in any blog post I'm going to - Kardashian. I don't know which one but heck her wedding came in at around $10million and the marriage lasted 72 days - this is what we are trying to protect? Really open your eyes have a look around, I don't think same sex couples are going to ruin the institution of marriage, I just don't think it's in that good a place.
I'm very fortunate to have found the right man for me, but I have friends who have been treated nothing but badly by men and truly believe they have found the right woman for them. And I nearly screwed that friendship because I said I still loved her but didn't necessarily like her choice. You know what...it's not my damn choice. She deserves happiness as much as I do and her partner makes her happy. No they won't procreate together but heck a lot of couples are choosing not to and a lot of unmarrieds are having many, even to different partners.
I really think this, as an issue, is probably a pretty unimportant one in the scheme of things.

Gets My Goat

Okay yes it's a silly saying, especially seeing as I don't have one or want one but it's much more polite than the words I'd prefer to use.

You see this week a person I know admitted to suffering from a mental illness, at the same time they said their partner had been cheating on them for months. And that is all the details you will get for this isn't a gossip column, but the details are pertinent.

In the aftermath of these disclosures things have been said, yes there were plenty of encouraging and supportive things but the thing I am going to focus on is this, 'oh well I'm sure God will bring restoration to your marriage'.

WHAT! Hello?

Seriously of all the things that could be said. If I was in that situation and someone said that to me I may plant my fist in their face, and yes I know that response isn't very christian, but I'm not at all convinced what they said to this person was all that christian either.

Someone going through something like that doesn't want to hear that. Or at least I can't imagine they do.

This made me remember the time I called my dying mother up on the phone, she sounded very unhappy. I asked her what was wrong and it came out that people from her church had been saying to her that she needed to 'look deep within for she must have sin she refused to admit to or God would have healed her', or words to that effect. I was irate. Now I may not be a picture perfect christian but my mum was a lot closer to that than I was. I wanted to go down there and smack them out.

So this brings me to my thing for today, what makes christians feel the need to spout such utter rubbish sometimes? Do they simply not think before they open their mouths? Or are they so drowning in the rhetoric that they can't come up with something genuine to say?

And let me make it clear that these people are certainly in the minority but that it happens at all really bugs me. (And yes I know that sometimes God does bring about restoration though I'm sure if you ask those people it's not without some hard work and miraculous forgiveness first) Sometimes it seems to me that those that don't go around professing their goodness and relationship with God get it more right, you wouldn't hear one of my non-church going friends suggesting you hope for restoration of marriage, nor blaming some hidden sin for sickness. In fact they would probably help kick the cheating so and so out and be the first to ask 'hey sucks you're so sick is there anything we can do?'