Another Chance

In the middle of writing, yes I’m working on another novel - I know I’ll get published one day, anyway I got to thinking about people we know who seem to get all the breaks. These guys treat people like crap, run businesses on the iffy side of ethical, throw away opportunity after opportunity and they always seem to land on their feet. They get great deals, people throw money at them, and other great opportunities come their way… And I get frustrated and if I’m honest totally annoyed.

It’s like these people can’t do any wrong. I doesn’t matter whom they trample on in the process it still falls their way.

On the other hand my hubby and I try everything creatively, we even tried giving up and living a ‘normal’ life only to discover that for us that worked ever less then when we work our butts off creatively.

So in a moment of honesty with God, let’s face it there’s not really any point in lying to Him anyway, I was having a ‘hands-thrown-in-the-air-what’s-going-on-what-do-we-need-to-do’ moan, when I had an epiphany. (I love that word).

Is not God the God of another chance? Who am I then, to say when those chances should run out? I want God’s best for me, and if I step back and let go of my selfishness and frustration I see squandered possibilities. I honestly feel a little sad that God’s best for them is being missed. Truthfully I don’t know God’s mind and heart for these people except that he loves them. I can’t say I know what His best for them is or was, I just see the missed possibilities and I wonder… I see someone perhaps deluding themselves that the mask they show people is the truth; I see someone running themselves ragged in the pursuit of the mighty dollar; I see someone else using others as a crutch and excuse. I feel sad at the missed possibilities.

Then I turn my eye to myself. I’m not where I hoped to be by now, but to become a master craftsman takes many, many years and as a creative person I know I am still a journeyman. In fact my creative journey will hopefully take me beyond forever. I don’t yet have money, a house of my own or even the financial or critical success in my chosen fields but I still have a love of my art and the passion to continue pursuing it. I have the ability to feed my family on a shoestring budget (thank you God, thank you Mum). I have a hubby who knows, loves, supports and understands me and we have a rock solid relationship that’s built on honesty and trust. We have two beautiful girls who are the delight of our lives even when they won’t let us lock ourselves in our respective offices and work – irrespective of the muse.

You know what I’m pretty blessed. I also know I probably missed some chances God had for me and so I’m grateful God doesn’t stop at chance number 37 just because…

Technology and Girls

SEXTING

I was listening to an interview with a sixteen year old girl the other day and I found it quite disturbing. It’s not the first I’ve heard of this topic nor is it likely to be the last. In fact I’m sure I’ve touched on this topic before, I’ve certainly ranted about it, however when one rants as much as I do there is no guarantee it actually makes it to my blog.

For those of you who don’t know what sexting is, basically it’s phone texting with sexual content – words or pictures.

It appears it’s becoming quite the thing to send naked or partially naked photos of yourself to members of the opposite sex. Though truthfully it’s more something I’ve heard of girls doing rather than guys but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen both ways.

For me sexting is a concern on several levels, not least being that when these kids are doing it, it is a form of child pornography and therefore illegal. Another thing that worries me is this is yet another area fraught with sexual harassment issues, not just among kids either.

Something else these kids can’t seem to get their heads around is the fact that once it’s out there, committed to the digital ether, they have no control over it. The person they sent it too may say it’s just between them but what’s stopping them forwarding it to their mates and so on. If this happens in a school environment it could be moments before the whole school has seen the picture. The repercussions are scary to contemplate; teasing, humiliation, the message it sends to people about what you will do (even if you won’t), and the damage it can do to someone’s self-esteem. Not to mention the fact that picture could still be out there where you are 25 and looking for work – ‘oops sorry we can’t hire someone with a history like that’. Or even worse some slimy, sleaze (and no they aren’t all middle aged and older, there are plenty of sleazy guys much younger than that around) could find it and try and cyber stalk you.

Which brings me to my question. Why do it? Consenting adults spicing up their sex lives I can understand, though that too comes with risks. At 12, 14, and 16 though? Really what’s the point? What’s the need? I’m assuming it is in part the cyber generation’s contribution to screwing around. Yet another way for a young woman to trick herself into thinking someone really cares for her.

I’m not going to pooh-pooh sex. Not even my mother or grandmother did that, sex outside a committed relationship was another matter. Sex absolutely has a place in a relationship, just not at such a young age. No I’m not being naïve, I know they do and I know they think they are old enough, I just believe they’re not. I’ve seen so many people (and not all teenagers) mistake sex for love. Sex isn’t how you feel loved. Giving all of yourself to somebody like that isn’t going to make you feel loved for more than the moment, it’s not going to make everything alright, and sex will not complete you. And sexting is exactly the same. You being a whole person, acceptable and loveable isn’t reliant on your willingness to flash your boobs around cyberspace.

Please girls think more highly of your selves than that. You are worth much more. You deserve better than someone who wants or expects that from you.

MYSPACE

Now I’m moving on from sexting to Myspace. I’m not against social networking, I’ve cruised Myspace and I Facebook. It keeps me in touch with friends in other countries, even friends I’ve made on-line. It is also a useful way to keep track of my theatre and film friends and find out who has what show or project going. So I find it useful, if not somewhat time wasting (particularly when I play games).

However unless it’s someone I know personally I know there is no guarantee what I see on a profile page is true. There is no way to police that an uploaded profile picture is of the person who’s profile it is. You just have to say you have the right to upload the picture, if you’re fabricating a profile you’re not going to be concerned about lying about that. A profile is simply not that difficult to fake.

The young girl from the sexting interview believed she could tell what people were really like from their Myspace profiles. She believed she had a system and that certain things show someone to be honest or not. Surely if she can think that then so can the person making up the page. Not all predators are stupid. It would make our lives as parents so much easier if they were.

The sad but simple truth is that people lie. Predators LIE! Twenty year old boys hooking up with fourteen year old girls on-line, tell them they are beautiful and that they’ve fallen in love with them and could they please send an intimate picture or hook up someplace – LIE! Sad, sick, perverted, twisted people LIE! Guys that want girls to put out – LIE! Cyberspace just makes it that much easier. It may be connected but that doesn’t mean we are honestly connected. It is easy to pretend in cyberspace.

Please girls stop lying to yourselves about what you are doing and what could happen. By all means embrace technology but do it wisely. Be careful what you put out there because you never know what you’ll attract back. Be honest with an adult you trust and never mistake intimate suggestions or conversations with love.

Great, true love is possible but remember that Romeo and Juliet ended in tragedy. Don’t follow in their footsteps. Be wise in your search and value yourself. If you don’t why should anyone else.

Daylight Saving

Daylight saving, what a crock! So many, many debates we’ve had especially over the last three ‘trial’ years we’ve had.

Do I like it? NO! My kids don’t like going to sleep because it’s so light and I’m sure all those advertising campaigns telling them that daylight saving means more family time in the evening haven’t helped. ‘Why aren’t my mum and dad interested in playing Frisbee with me at 8 pm at night, it’s daylight saving isn’t that what they are supposed to be doing.

We live in a great time zone right on the west coast so we get the setting sun – unhidden by mountains like some on the east coast. We work with Asia as well as the east coast, so why do we have to take ourselves out of the Asian time zone and make us different to every one else. The simple fact is daylight saving doesn’t make us the same as the east coast, there are still two hours different. Isn’t this more a matter or organisation, not family time or daylight hours (which doesn’t change).

I have voted no. To all those who claim that it’s families that benefit most I have just his to say (as I heard it from another mother):  Say tonight is the night we change the clocks over, so tonight hubby gets home at 6 and the kids go to bed at 7.30pm, tomorrow the hubby gets home at 6 and the kids go to bed at 7.30pm, where the hell is the extra time you all keep talking about?

Seriously family time isn’t reliant on the amount of sunlight in the evening. Not all of us want to rev our kids up by running around just before bedtime. Please there are plenty of ways to bond, just use your brain, don’t wait for others to tell you what, why and how you need to spend your time with your family.

A Lady Died

A woman died the other day. So what you might ask? So what indeed? This woman was an elderly woman and I believe she was living by herself. This woman died, not of natural causes but as a result of someone breaking into her house while she was there. She didn’t die because they beat her or anything (though there is plenty of that going on as well) she simply died from the stress. This is my understanding from the news reports.

This was bound to happen, unfortunately.

On a related topic, someone tried to break into our place the other day. We weren’t home. We think the alarm may have scared them off.

Even if it hadn’t happened to us I’d have still been really annoyed. This is something that has been bugging me a lot. I work hard. When I don’t have a job I work hard on my writing and looking for work. I don’t slack off and I don’t like being reliant on welfare. I sure as hell don’t look at the person down the street, or in the next suburb and think I have a claim on their stuff just because.

Sure there have always been people that way inclined, sadly, but the action so often comes with excuses these days. You know what? I’m sick of them. There simply is no excuse to terrify an old lady to death just because you want what little she has.

Sadly she probably won’t be the last this happens to.

Mother's Day

It was mother’s day yesterday and while this post would perhaps have been more appropriate posted then it’s getting done today. I’m a mother, I was having as much of a day off as possible.

My focus however isn’t so much on me.

I miss my mother, it’s been nearly six years since she died and there are days I really wish she was still here so I could share with her. You know just sit and have a coffee and talk, it doesn’t have to be about anything important. I miss the connection. I’m sad she never got to know my girls.

I have my two girls whom I love immensely and bring so much joy into my life. I love watching them grow. Each stage brings with it something else to enjoy, even when it can be frustrating. I hope and pray that I am up to the task of raising them to be the best ‘them’ they can be, and that my quirks don’t mess them up too badly.

Then I got to thinking about young women, the rise in crime  among females and the rise in single young mothers we are seeing. If you are a regular reader of my blog you may realise that these are things very close to my heart. It saddens me to see so many young women, girls really trying to grow up so fast and destroying their lives. There is so much of self and want and in some ways so very little of giving that I wonder what effect this is going to have on the woman of the future. I wonder what she will look like? In some ways the possibilities scare me. But I know there is always hope.

So to all you mothers out there, for all the good days and the tough ones I salute you, and pray for wisdom in raising your children.

Looking For Work

I hate job hunting. Mostly I think because nothing ever seems quite right. One of the jobs I thought about applying for prompted my hubby to say ‘but you’d hate that.’ I couldn’t disagree, I could only say ‘but I’d hate to go back to cleaning more’.

Even a job working at a place that does DVD sales and rentals as well as music and books, has its down side, its opening hours are 10am to 11pm or midnight. If I was single or just childless the hours wouldn’t bother me at all. That’s not the case though, and I can’t afford to be too picky.

It would be great if someone would pay my hubby to stay in his studio and finish his album, he’s already got buyers and it’s not close to being finished. The other alternative is someone could pay me to write, then at least I’d have a good reason to stay off facebook and mafia wars.

I’ve motivated myself through writing two novels, two full length plays, two feature scripts as well as a bunch of one acts and short films, but sometimes it’s easier to let depression take hold and just stare at the computer screen, playing games and being remarkably unproductive.

So until a wealthy benefactor throws some funding our way, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Post office job here I come….Does anyone know a wealthy benefactor?