Well That Just Sucks

We should've got our house. Not going to happen it seems. The no is for the sake of two months, or $30 a week, or the inflated tax rate to cover my old uni fees, or the simple fact that I know how to survive without a credit card (which means you end up with no real credit rating).
So all those things I finally got around to unpacking again need to be packed. Totally not my favourite past time.
When I found out I cried. I shouted. I swore. And I ranted at God how is this fair, how is it fair that some people land on their feet all the damn time, they seem to get many of the breaks and people will look at them and go 'well lets see what we can do to sort that for you.' When they look at me it so often seems they try to find all the possible faults, all ways in which we don't fit.
Thing is though, this kind of thing has happened so many damn times in my life that really at this stage it is just kind of boring now.

So for 20 minutes I pitched a fit. Then I accepted the fact my plans had been tossed in the air again only to fall in some random manner at my feet.
I walked out of my shower, got dressed and went and spoke to my family. Within that very short space of time I had gone through a total 180 degree change of attitude.
Why?
Well that's easy really. Because I decided too. I have a family who love me. A job that puts a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs and food in our mouths (as an added bonus it's a job I like). I have enough time to spend with friends and family and to indulge my love of writing (or rather my need to create). Where I actually live makes no real difference to any of that. Sure shifting is a pain in the butt you'll find no argument from me on that count.
So much of life though is how you look at things. I chose to look at the good and accept what I can't really change. The other thing is I don't know what the future holds. My plans could have had fundamental flaws that I couldn't see. It's even possible something that never entered into my calculations was around the corner.
Something awesome could be coming and who am I to focus just on the crap and not the possibilities.

Choices are what make the difference in life. I have been knocked over so many times that after I get over my initial frustration or disappointment I think to myself 'is that all you've got world?' You say I can't have it, I say 'you watch me get better'. I choose to look at what I've got, I choose to say I am not going to give up.
I choose to open my eyes to possibilities. Which means when I pick up a book that I'd put aside a while ago, I can see clearly a new idea that jumps in front of me. Two days ago I was frustrated. Today I am excited for the future. Today a new dimension popped into my mind for a new story idea that has been simmering and a new thought for our financial future also bloomed in a corner of my mind.
Sometimes the suckiest things turn out to be the very thing that sharpens the focus.

A Culture of Blame

My job puts me in many a strange situation. It was never a job I thought I would have. It's not really the sort of job you think about at any time when someone asks you what you want to be when you grow up.

The thing I want to talk about today is devolution.

I have never in my life seen anyone devolve so totally as I did this week. I saw a grown woman go from being a 30 something to a little child in the space of several minutes.
It was freaky. Seeing someone who has functioned like an adult in every situation you've seen them in, suddenly sit there, rocking, shaking, refusing to open her eyes and crying for her mummy.
In amongst the info dump that happened in those 20 odd minutes where I tried to talk her down, or back to reality, I noticed something. A decided lack of responsibility.
Everyone else was responsible for the position this woman found herself in.

It is so sad that a great number of us have crappy moments in our lives and we just get on with it, but there is an increasing number, it seems, who think everything bad that happens to them is because of what someone else does or did. It's the police's fault that someone goes to jail - it's got nothing to do with the drugs they were on and the actions they took. It's the old person's fault they nearly died because they wouldn't hand over their money and jewellery. And the list goes on.
Me, things don't go as planned well I come up with another plan. I may rant and rave, even throw the occasional pillow but I certainly don't go and commit a crime and blame someone else. Believe me I have had quiet a few downs in my life, more bumps in the road than I would have liked. It can be hard when you know people who always seem to land on their feet. You know the ones - those who squander the amazing opportunities you would give, well not quite anything for, but then they get another and another. You want to slap them upside the head, jump up and down and demand they introduce you to the person who made them the offer because you would like nothing more than to say 'pick me'. It is not to be though, and so we pick ourselves up and go on.
I don't really know where this culture of blame has come from and to be honest I don't know if it's really getting worse or if I just notice it more the older I get.
It is so sad. It makes me want to just take some of these people and shake some sense into them. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure that won't work. No amount of shaking will make a difference till these people want to step up and start acting like adults and taking responsibility. Sure crap happens and it's not always in our control what happens to us but how we respond, that is within our control.