Now though is the time, I'm making time. Today I have some things to say about haters.
For crying out loud people why is gay marriage still a damn issue?
No seriously why?
I recently had the privilege of attending the wedding of two lovely ladies I work with and guess what? No smiting happened. Actually the opposite did, it had been a miserable couple of days weather wise but it stayed dry for their out of doors ceremony and when it came time to exchange their vows the sun came out from behind the clouds bathing them in glorious golden light. Make of that what you will haters.
Here's the way I see it, as long as it is between two consenting adults I don't care who you do in your bedroom or how. Why should I, it's none of my damn business and affects me in no way. I am not about to start picking my friends based on sexual preference.
In the spirit of honesty I wasn't always this clear about my opinions on this topic. I grew up a Christian in a time when faith was struggling with how to come to terms with this whole 'gay' thing, and they still are struggling. In fact I unwittingly pushed away a friend because I said to her that I didn't necessarily like her choice (I'd always known her to be straight or probably and more accurately trying to be straight), or understand it, but that didn't mean I wanted to stop being friends. For her it was who she was not some choice she made, back then I didn't really understand that.
Age and life can be a wonderful teacher if we let it.
I've always thought the biblical arguments to be faulty something other people have dealt with more eloquently than I could, so I won't deal with that here. (You can try here for one post I liked).
The thing is though there are so many more important issues we could be pouring time and money into.
Domestic violence has killed women in the double figures already this year, but it gets only cursory mention every now and then.
Violence against women (in fact in general) seems disturbingly on the rise and so much of the media is focussed on how women shouldn't go places by themselves or out at night or any number of other things. The press and focus is on what the victims should and shouldn't do when surely it should be on the behaviour of the perpetrators. Earlier this year a 15 year old sexually assaulted a young woman on her way home during the day. He got a damn slap on the wrist, a punishment validated by the words (paraphrased) 'he is a young boy struggling with his lustful urges and his faith'. Um sorry what?
What kind of message does that send? To me it says we are more concerned with to perpetrator than the victim.
Yet gay marriage somehow seems like a bigger issue. It makes no sense to me.
But then haters make for more interesting news footage and their vitriol makes for better sound bites.
Then there is the whole Kaitlyn Jenner thing. Seriously why should I give a stuff. I care nothing for anything Jenner/Kardashian related. There are far more important things going on in the world than any word that could come out of any of their mouths, yet the amount of press generated by that family... the amount of money thrust at them could probably feed a starving country.
Sure Kaitlyn's transformation got some discussion happening about transgender but really, was it only me who thought the focus very quickly shifted to some rubbish popularity thing. Very little helped or changed on the ground level for those living with transgender issues in their lives.
The struggle these families face everyday boggle my mind. The sheer range of emotionally charged things they need to consider are potentially shattering. Despite all this the focus of some is the selfishness of the parents 'pushing' their children towards unnatural decisions. The horror of our children being placed in a position that will allow them to be corrupted if we talk about these things openly. As adults we need to grow the heck up. There is an awful lot we can learn from kids, if we just let them teach us.
Have I talked about being gay with my kids? Yes. It went a little like this - 'Mum they are both girls', 'yes honey Grace has two mums, instead of having a boyfriend they are girlfriends,' 'oh, wierd, but okay'. And that was the end of that.
Have I talked to my children about transgender? Yes. It went like this. 'Mum I've invited these people to my party, *** is transgender', me - uh! And by the time my brain processed what had been said my child had walked off to do something else. Clearly this is something she thinks is worthy of concern. In fact her only concern is that her friend has thoughts of suicide.
Finding your identity and dealing with being a teenager is hard enough when you fit the accepted norm, we need to work to help those who don't. Believe me you want to say something hate filled and full of criticism and condemnation to this child you bloody well do it through me, this child deserves none of it.
I am sick of the hate.
Know what other topics have been spoken about in my house recently? Racism, the look of confusion on my child's face when told there was a time coloured people and white people couldn't do things together was wonderful - absolute questioning why? It seemed silly to her.
Equality. My youngest was infuriated when I told her that in some countries as a girl she wouldn't be allowed to go to school and learn things. That's so not fair she said.
My children will learn that skin colour, sexuality and gender are no way to judge a person or limit what they can do.
My wonderful hubby asked why I was writing this post? The only answer I really have is that it's been bugging me and I hadn't written anything to address it. This is how I get stuff out of my system. I blog, I rant and then I move on. It's like I've had my say, done my bit. It's so easy to fall into the social media trap of commenting on those posts that drive you bonkers but really that's unlikely to do anything. The truth is they tend to descend into A vs B and neither side are willing to change their opinions, the hate just becomes more ingrained.
This hating needs to stop people.
Save your energy for things that matter, for fights that matter. Paraphrasing one of my munchkins - there are more important things in the world that need to be sorted out.
