So I totally didn't realise that it had been so long since I had written in this blog. I'm still struggling with work, waiting to hear back from the job I applied for (sadly government jobs are popular and the process takes quite a while). I am also still struggling to figure out my faith.
The funny thing is I can go to a sic-fi/fantasy convention and feel right at home (what I wouldn't give to go to San Diego Comic-con- it's totally on my bucket list) yet I walk into church and want to turn right around again. It is so much easier to just sleep in on a sunday morning than get myself ready to go to church. In fact it was easier to get my butt out of bed on a sunday morning to go stand on my feet for 10 hours at previously mentioned convention than to go to church.
The thing is I want my girls to know God, to be given the opportunity to learn about faith.
I just find myself still questioning. I say again, because I already know I've said it before, that it would be easier if I didn't know so much, if I didn't want to question things, if I was willing to accept the boundaries put in front of me. Thing is I've kind of always pushed those boundaries.
I've heard all the arguments about needing to be in a church for your faith to be 'real' and to an extent I agree or at least understand it. My faith was stronger when I was hooked in to a church family but it's been a long time since I had that family feel in a church environment. By family I mean people who understood our wacky lives and sense of humour.
All is not lost though because I have the internet. Now some may think that sentence doesn't really makes sense, so let me explain. Through the wonderful digital world I am able to connect with the amazing Karin from Flickers of A Faithful FireFly and Andrew from Backyard Missionary. These people deserve a shout out for simply accepting my struggling questioning nature and supporting me through it. They come from different parts of the world and have known me in different ways, (one purely digitally) and yet they provide the chain that keeps me connected to that spiritual part of me. This I think is just as valuable as connecting in a building once or twice a week, in fact for someone like me it is even more valuable.
I hope that those of you who are struggling, confused or questioning, have someone like these people in your lives.
