Trying to Keep On Top

Somedays really drag,

I wish they didn't but that is the truth of it. There are just so many things I want to be doing with my time - reading, writing, training, catching up with friends. The stuff I have to do doesn't even rate on my list - cleaning, shopping, cooking, washing. I freely admit I am a sucky housekeeper, I would much rather be curled up with a book until ridiculous hours of the morning than do my dishes. Growing up is about understanding that some things just need to get done and believe me there are days I wish I could forget I'm supposed to be a grown up. How can you follow your dreams when reality gets in the way? How can I work on getting published when I work 12 hr shifts? The truth is I only manage by doing what I can each day. If that means it is only a few words, then at least it is still better with the number of words I had started the day with. Because I review books even sitting curled up with a book is considered productive on some level for me (a fact for which I am eternally grateful although it would be nice to get paid to do it). Sometimes it feels the least productive days are the ones I'm at work, though without those I couldn't afford to do the other things I love. I have to admit though at least I have a job I like, and yes I am fully aware of the fact that most people struggle to understand how I could like it, (it helps to have a twisted sense of humour). With Tough Mudder looming next weekend that has more of my focus right now than my writing does, but that will change once Mudder is over, no matter what the result. I get that people think I'm silly to want to do this, for me though it is the challenge of doing something I never would have dreamed possible a few years ago. I suppose life is a varied and awesome thing and if you are prepared to embrace it and the changes it throws your way then your life can be so much more than you thought possible. You don't need to be some kind of special and superhuman to achieve this, you just need to be flexible enough to change and determined enough to keep moving forward even if it is only one baby step at a time.

Road Blocks

So it's already October, that means my biggest challenge of the year is looming.

That's right this is my biggest challenge; 20kms, 20+ obstacles. It is going to be brutal and hopefully fun.

I have been training hard for this. I have worked hard this last year and a half on my fitness and strength. The time is getting short to get a good amount of training in before the day. There are days when I just don't want to go out but I do. There are days that I think a little bit will be good enough and I end up pushing myself further than ever. Then there are days like the other day. I went out to push the distance, to see how far I could go before dinner. A couple of hundred meters down the road I thought my hip felt a bit sore but pushed it aside thinking 'it's just a little pain I can push through it I'm sure Mudder will come with more pain'. So I kept running, till about 2kms from home I heard this bone crunching kind of sound and my leg almost gave out from under me.

Do you have any idea how mush it sucks to be injured this close to your goal event? A lot. For someone like me it's not just the injury that is the problem, it's the fact it makes me feel weak. There is a part of me that thinks I should just push hard through it. Then there is a smaller part of me that knows it is better if I rest it for a bit at least. Fortunately for me the smaller part is bolstered by the support of my other half who has been a great support and trainer through all my self inflicted torture. He tells me I'm not to go out, he reassures me that taking some time off doesn't make me weak. I have had to accept limitations this week and I don't do well with limitations. What keeps me from trying to run through the pain though is knowing I don't have to let this road block stop me. I just need to be a little patient, like with any road block it is just a temporary thing, before long you can get back on your way. I have to believe that. I have to believe I will be back out there soon because I've already paid my entry fee and I'll be stuffed if I'm going to forfeit that for a little owie. (Of course I would feel a bit better if my owie had some external indication of pain so I could show it as a badge of courage.)