Friendship

Friends are really important. I don't have that many of them and that doesn't bother me because the ones I have are great.
I'm thinking on this at the moment because I wrote a poem for a friend this week. It is the first poem I have written in a very long time. This friend is only someone new in my life, she was going to be someone I was going to work with and I was really looking forward to it. This new career path is one where you form close friendships, you have to because it's not the sort of job you can share much of with others. Anyway the point is she has just been diagnosed with that terrible bitch of an illness cancer in this case stomach cancer. I know this one is one of the more nasty ones but still I had hoped they caught it early enough. She had surgery last week and goes in for chemo this week. the diagnosis obviously was worse than we hoped. Now though in respect to her wishes we are trying to give her the space she needs but I couldn't help myself. I sat in class unable to focus on anything much, so I did what comes naturally to me. I picked up my pen and I wrote.
Emotions effect us all differently and I know I am a very emotional person. It seems so unfair that this friend could be taken from me so soon and I feel so much for her family, partner and friends. It makes sense to me though that they have requested not to be contacted, I get how frustrating it can be dealing with the 'how are you today?' questions. I hope and pray I get more time with her she is a woman of value, she helped many of us in the course while she was with us and we miss her very much. Friendship is a funny thing. Some people seem to have many friends and I have at times in my life bemoaned my lack of socialising, however I am incredibly grateful for the friends I have. there are times we need to remember it's all about the quality not the quantity and the friends I have are quality ones.
For all the fear of this disease and possible loss of a friendship that never really had the chance to develop I wouldn't change the fact that I have gotten to know her a little, I can only hope and pray I get to know her for a bit longer.
Value those people in your life who know you for who you are and love you anyway, friends chose to be in your life and they are worth their weight in gold, or something else of more value than gold.

Tired but Trained

I am tired and yet I'm still going out tonight.
I have spent the last 2 weeks in training facilities learning new skills for my new job and it has been exhausting. Tired, sore, bruised, battered and a little weary but overall it has been fun.
It strikes me that so often we allow ourselves to sit in our niche, our comfort zone. Is that really living though? There have been several times over the last couple of weeks, in fact over the last two months since I started on my new career path, where I've doubted myself.
We all experience doubt, it's natural, especially when you push yourself into trying or learning new things. The thing is not to let that doubt stop you. At the times you question your ability, or doubt yourself sometimes the only thing you can really do is get up the next morning and get yourself to where you have to be and try.
You will probably surprise yourself if you at least persevere.
Don't let doubt beat you. Stretch yourself. Have a little faith in yourself.