Girls, Women, Healthy Attitudes

My girls are very precious to me and I am trying very hard to make sure they grow up with healthy self-esteems. This may seem like an easy task, to which I would respond sadly with the comment, that you obviously don't have girls. This world we live in is still very male-centric for all we say we have come forward in our thinking and attitudes. Let's face it we shouldn't need to have a white ribbon day where man vow not to abuse, in any way, women.
Now my girls don't have barbies and I prefer Dora as a role model, I don't wear much make up, or fuss muchly about clothes and appearance. I also prefer Keladry of Mindelan to Bella Swan (look it up). I am more about doing it than having it done for me. Ye despite me thinking that this would be a good grounding for them, I still face this problem.
Every week I find times to tell them that they are beautiful no matter what they wear, or it's important to be a good person not just pretty, or that they don't need someone else (a man) to rescue them, or variations on these themes.
My eldest has had several boys chasing her which at her age means flowers - real, letters scratched into a cement verge, and a written letter of proposal - (NB she is 8). She has said to us that she doesn't want to go out with any of these boys because she doesn't love them. YAY! her. I told her that was fine.
Recently both of them were playing princess's trapped in towers and asked me to find a prince to rescue them. I asked why they couldn't rescue themselves. My youngest decided that if this was an option she would be happy to do that. A choice that made me very happy.
Now I'm not a huge feminist or anything like that but I'm seeing a disturbing trend in young relationships where girls figure they have to be dependant on guys. Then there is all the other stuff to do with how women are portrayed and marketed to, what they get from friends, school and music. Yes even seemingly harmless things like the disney princess can send messages you may not realise they are sending, about needing an relationship for happily ever after and so on. I'm even thinking about getting copies of the original fairy tales so my girls can get the stories as they were not as they've been doctored to be. You know were Ariel dies because the prince is so damn fickle, she sacrifices everything for nothing. Now I like the disney movies and I  even like a couple of the princesses Belle is my favourite, she refuses Gaston and sacrifices for her father.
My task with my girls is on going. The way is to find ways to get my girls thinking outside the apparent ingrained ways of society and that is something I need to remember and not become complacent about.

What To Say?

These last couple of weeks have been a little frantic. That is to say I have been really, really busy. Mostly it's because I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo this year, for those who don't know that means writing 50 000 words of a story in 30 days.
In amongst all this I have work, family, a father in law in hospital with only 30% of his heart working, my mother in law living with us for the interim, plus all the other things I usually do.
Added to all this, probably not surprisingly I am feeling a little stressed.
When this happens there are certain things I really feel the want to rant and rail against things. Right now yes I'm frustrated with how things are but more than anything I want to rant about these polls on facebook about gay marriage. I am getting inundated with people I know answering this poll with - no gays shouldn't be allowed to marry. And you know what? I want to scream at them saying why not! Seriously have any of them really looked around at the relationships on display in our society. So many unmarried people with loads of kids. So many divorces. So much anger, disappointment. Should not everyone be allowed to choose who they spend their lives with. I know some gay and lesbian couples who have been together longer than some hetero relationships.
Marriage used to mean something. But then religious people only look at the parts of the bible they want to look at when it comes to these things. And I will admit right now there are probably a heap of references in the bible I've missed but here's just a couple of things to think on.
*Divorce rate among christians is basically the same as non christians
*Solomon had hundreds of wives
*Yes Sodom and Gomorrah were bad but they were bad for a whole bunch of reasons not just one
Surely we are able to realise that sometimes things change in societies and these changes aren't always bad. I wouldn't want to be part of a society were women had as few rights as they did in bible times. I know too many stories of 'good' hetero couples treating their kids and partners badly. Also seriously as much as I'd hate to even use this next word in any blog post I'm going to - Kardashian. I don't know which one but heck her wedding came in at around $10million and the marriage lasted 72 days - this is what we are trying to protect? Really open your eyes have a look around, I don't think same sex couples are going to ruin the institution of marriage, I just don't think it's in that good a place.
I'm very fortunate to have found the right man for me, but I have friends who have been treated nothing but badly by men and truly believe they have found the right woman for them. And I nearly screwed that friendship because I said I still loved her but didn't necessarily like her choice. You know what...it's not my damn choice. She deserves happiness as much as I do and her partner makes her happy. No they won't procreate together but heck a lot of couples are choosing not to and a lot of unmarrieds are having many, even to different partners.
I really think this, as an issue, is probably a pretty unimportant one in the scheme of things.