Just when you may think the youth who will be our future are...well I'm sure you've heard or thought various adjectives, here's a little bit of hope. When I get off the bus at the station in the morning with my schoolgirl and baby in her pram, nearly always one of the teenagers waiting to take the bus to the highschool, grabs the cross bar of the pram and helps lift it down. They joke about and volunteer to be the next guy to do it (it's always the boys), and it always brings a smile to my face.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Dr Piet and Mum
This weekend was a very bittersweet time. My baby bro graduated from med school. He’s now officially a Dr. I am so proud of him for his dedication and hard work and so much else. Thing is his dedication ceremony where the graduating class were presented was on Saturday. Saturday would have been our mother’s 60th birthday. I know she would have been so proud and I believe she was having her own little party in heaven but that didn’t make it any less sad not to have her with us on such an awesome occasion.
So I want to say I’m thankful today for :
My family who walk different paths but are there for each other all the same.
All the things I learnt from my Mother, even though there are many lessons I’m sure I haven’t grasped yet.
Also, I hope and pray I can be the same sort of mother to my girls as mine was to me, things weren’t perfect, my rose coloured glasses don’t blind me that much, but she was an incredible woman who lived an open and loving life, she lived what she believed and I miss her very much.
So I want to say I’m thankful today for :
My family who walk different paths but are there for each other all the same.
All the things I learnt from my Mother, even though there are many lessons I’m sure I haven’t grasped yet.
Also, I hope and pray I can be the same sort of mother to my girls as mine was to me, things weren’t perfect, my rose coloured glasses don’t blind me that much, but she was an incredible woman who lived an open and loving life, she lived what she believed and I miss her very much.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Some New Statistics
I heard some disturbing statistics from a survey today. Apparently 1 in 3 boys thinks it is okay to hit a girl and 1 in 4, 12-20 yr olds, has seen violence in the home.
It seems that the government’s campaign of ‘it is never okay’ was not a success.
So how is it we find ourselves living in a society with such statistics? We are supposedly civilized.
So with this in mind I have a few questions.
Where are the men who stand up and say to the boys that that kind of behavior is unacceptable?
Why do some men think violence is an acceptable solution?
What has happened to acting with honor and respect?
As my husband pointed out though, violence isn’t the exclusive property of males, more and more females are using it on each other and on men. So what are these statistics and why are these females under the impression that this kind of behavior is acceptable?
Is this behavior somehow tied to the apparent growth of selfishness and greed (I, me, mine) I see around me and the rise of laying the blame elsewhere (lack of accountability and acceptance of consequences)?
Is it a result of family and community breakdown that sees parents not wanting to have anything to do with the kids, or using the children against each other, or even carrying on in ways that indicate the children’s feelings simply don’t count?
Is it because we push adult concepts and responsibilities on children and don’t allow them to just be kids?
Is there even a solution?
It seems that the government’s campaign of ‘it is never okay’ was not a success.
So how is it we find ourselves living in a society with such statistics? We are supposedly civilized.
So with this in mind I have a few questions.
Where are the men who stand up and say to the boys that that kind of behavior is unacceptable?
Why do some men think violence is an acceptable solution?
What has happened to acting with honor and respect?
As my husband pointed out though, violence isn’t the exclusive property of males, more and more females are using it on each other and on men. So what are these statistics and why are these females under the impression that this kind of behavior is acceptable?
Is this behavior somehow tied to the apparent growth of selfishness and greed (I, me, mine) I see around me and the rise of laying the blame elsewhere (lack of accountability and acceptance of consequences)?
Is it a result of family and community breakdown that sees parents not wanting to have anything to do with the kids, or using the children against each other, or even carrying on in ways that indicate the children’s feelings simply don’t count?
Is it because we push adult concepts and responsibilities on children and don’t allow them to just be kids?
Is there even a solution?
Thursday, November 13, 2008
A Question
Maybe someone who is a far better Christian than me can explain something to me.
I know a girl. She’s divorced, a single mum, with a bunch of hang ups that anyone could have. I know a guy, divorced, barely sees his kid except when it suits him. Unfortunately this description fits several friends of mine and even more women I know. However this isn’t what I need to have explained.
Here are further details. The guy was emotionally and physically abusive in the marriage. He puts himself first, is manipulative and not so good at paying child support. Still this describes too many people.
Now this girl’s father is talking to the ex nicely, seeking him out even and telling his daughter that it is the Christian thing to do in order to show the guy forgiveness. You know what he hasn’t done? This father hasn’t once gone up to this guy and taken him to task about the way he treated his daughter, is still treating her, or his grandkid.
This girl is confused. She wants a man to stand for her, to say that the way she’s been treated is wrong, I say that but it’s not the same, and I’m not trying to be sexist or anything. Instead she tries to push those feelings aside and convince herself that those feelings are selfish and vengeful. (Not her exact words but my interpretation).
I understand her desire; what’s more I’d feel the same way.
People say that having a word with this ex, is a waste of time because he won’t listen. Any one ever think that he doesn’t listen because no-one has ever made him listen?
I’m certain my rough as guts dad, who isn’t without his faults, would have some choice words to say if it was an ex in my life, of course he’d probably have some choice words for me too, but at least he’d stand up for me.
So here’s what I want explained. Where is the line between showing forgiveness and standing for those who can’t stand for themselves? Where should the priority be – the hurting daughter or the selfish ex-son-in-law?
Believe me I have a few choice words burning to get out. And I have to wonder if ‘turning the other cheek’ and ‘vengeance is mine said the Lord’ has turned us all into a bunch of people more interested in keeping the status quo than standing for what is right.
I am reminded of Nicely Nicely’s dream – “Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down you’re rocking the boat”.
I know a girl. She’s divorced, a single mum, with a bunch of hang ups that anyone could have. I know a guy, divorced, barely sees his kid except when it suits him. Unfortunately this description fits several friends of mine and even more women I know. However this isn’t what I need to have explained.
Here are further details. The guy was emotionally and physically abusive in the marriage. He puts himself first, is manipulative and not so good at paying child support. Still this describes too many people.
Now this girl’s father is talking to the ex nicely, seeking him out even and telling his daughter that it is the Christian thing to do in order to show the guy forgiveness. You know what he hasn’t done? This father hasn’t once gone up to this guy and taken him to task about the way he treated his daughter, is still treating her, or his grandkid.
This girl is confused. She wants a man to stand for her, to say that the way she’s been treated is wrong, I say that but it’s not the same, and I’m not trying to be sexist or anything. Instead she tries to push those feelings aside and convince herself that those feelings are selfish and vengeful. (Not her exact words but my interpretation).
I understand her desire; what’s more I’d feel the same way.
People say that having a word with this ex, is a waste of time because he won’t listen. Any one ever think that he doesn’t listen because no-one has ever made him listen?
I’m certain my rough as guts dad, who isn’t without his faults, would have some choice words to say if it was an ex in my life, of course he’d probably have some choice words for me too, but at least he’d stand up for me.
So here’s what I want explained. Where is the line between showing forgiveness and standing for those who can’t stand for themselves? Where should the priority be – the hurting daughter or the selfish ex-son-in-law?
Believe me I have a few choice words burning to get out. And I have to wonder if ‘turning the other cheek’ and ‘vengeance is mine said the Lord’ has turned us all into a bunch of people more interested in keeping the status quo than standing for what is right.
I am reminded of Nicely Nicely’s dream – “Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down you’re rocking the boat”.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Stepping Out
At the moment my faith isn’t easy. Don’t get me wrong, believing in God hasn’t gotten harder but doing what I know to be right is a little tough. After my accident I knew the right thing to do was stop working. So many people cautioned me against it. But I knew it was what I had to do. In part because it’s not the first time God has told me to leave a job. The first time around I thought I couldn’t possibly be hearing God but because I didn’t do it, I went from being a valued employee to not having a job in the space of a week.
This time I listened.
To truly understand what that meant you need to realize that my income was our safety net, sure we got a few luxuries but more often than not it was how the bills got met every month. Stopping work didn’t just mean I couldn’t buy any more dvd’s, it was however, the right thing to do.
The thing is that often when we step out of the boat we expect God to smooth the water and make it solid so everything will be fine and it will be like walking on dry land. In my experience that is not the case. Right at the moment I am out of the boat and far from the water being still and solid, it is instead, seeming as if it is being churned up and a storm is raging.
My husband changed to what was supposed to be (and started off as) a better paying job, and certain positive things happened in regards to my writing. Then just as we think the water isn’t too soft – work slows right down, things stop working and the gales of life start buffeting us again.
Money is tight, someone who was supposed to be a friend stabbed my hubby so thoroughly in the back that I’m sure that relationship is over, I found out something not so great and my phone got cut off. I still know what we chose was the right thing to do but right now I feel as though I am balancing on a high-wire over a very deep canyon and there is no safety net.
I’m not whining, or at least I’m trying not to, and I’m trying to avoid the pity party train. I just wonder why we tend to think God only asks us to do things that will make our lives easier, short and long term?
This time I listened.
To truly understand what that meant you need to realize that my income was our safety net, sure we got a few luxuries but more often than not it was how the bills got met every month. Stopping work didn’t just mean I couldn’t buy any more dvd’s, it was however, the right thing to do.
The thing is that often when we step out of the boat we expect God to smooth the water and make it solid so everything will be fine and it will be like walking on dry land. In my experience that is not the case. Right at the moment I am out of the boat and far from the water being still and solid, it is instead, seeming as if it is being churned up and a storm is raging.
My husband changed to what was supposed to be (and started off as) a better paying job, and certain positive things happened in regards to my writing. Then just as we think the water isn’t too soft – work slows right down, things stop working and the gales of life start buffeting us again.
Money is tight, someone who was supposed to be a friend stabbed my hubby so thoroughly in the back that I’m sure that relationship is over, I found out something not so great and my phone got cut off. I still know what we chose was the right thing to do but right now I feel as though I am balancing on a high-wire over a very deep canyon and there is no safety net.
I’m not whining, or at least I’m trying not to, and I’m trying to avoid the pity party train. I just wonder why we tend to think God only asks us to do things that will make our lives easier, short and long term?
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