God loves you. Do we understand the depths of that simple statement? I think for most of us we understand but the shadow of the whole. So much depends on our understanding of love. For many of us the subtleties and outward manifestations differ. Now that may sound like a crock but I know from experience that I get more out of certain expressions than my man does and likewise for him.
Here’s the kicker though, we don’t always give each other what speaks most to us. It is so easy to get caught up in the feeling rather than the meaning of love. We get tossed around in the shallows rather than dive through and explore the depths.
We focus on the passion in the kiss, the number of times we’re complimented or touched, rather than the fact that the perfect place to be when the chips are down is with the ones we love. I can be exhausted and frustrated and yet the girls’ laugh, or the words ‘I love you’ or a hug make everything more balanced again. Likewise I can be emotional, stressed, annoyed and yet the one place I’d really like to be at the end of the day is curled up in my hubby’s arms.
My hubby accepts me as I am and that is a comforting and intoxicating thing. He doesn’t try to change me. He doesn’t try to get me to be more tidy, or a more organised house wife and I don’t get him to be less phlegmatic and relaxed. Of course being that way is his nature but sometimes his ‘I’ll get to it’ attitude frustrates me. It’s taken 12 years but I’ve finally started to step back and let him do it in his own time.
The thing to remember is that he’s not perfect but neither am I, together we work at our relationship and because of that we have a safe place together and for our girls and us to be who we are – good days and bad. There is a lot of freedom in that. The catch is that kind of freedom has a price. It requires trust and honesty. I think a lot of us struggle with those things, in both our personal relationships and our relationship with God.
I’d have to say I don’t struggle with trusting my hubby but in other relationships I certainly do still have a hard time trusting. Say if someone still occasionally have a hard time trusting that people like me for me…the damage done in school can have effects that last for a long time.
Now back to the topic I started with. What and how does this relate to faith? I think it directly relates to the depth and richness of that relationship. (For me faith is a relationship)
Don’t read this thinking I come from some place of great theological depths and a well balanced perfect relationship with God. I don’t. Sometimes I struggle mightily with my faith. I’ve had a fair share of desert times, but I’ve also learnt a few things. I’ve learnt that God wants to spend time with me even with all my flaws. Even knowing all my secrets he doesn’t run from me. He also doesn’t need me to pretty things up or pretend the crap in my life hasn’t happened. He doesn’t want me to pretend to be someone I’m not. He knows I’ve gotten drunk, done a couple of lines of cocaine, used to cut myself, was possibly abused. He knows my friend has bad taste in guys always seeming to pick the ones who want to hurt her. He knows about stupid mistakes and dumb choices and yet He still is there for me. He still lets me pour my heart out to Him. And I am so different to you.
God will still wrap His presence around us when we sit curled up in a corner of a dark room crying because it hurts so much, or we feel so lost or out of control. Does He like or approve of everything we do? No, no more than I do with my girls. But that doesn’t change His love for us, like it doesn’t change my love for them. Would he like us to change some of our habits and methods? Yes, that’s part of growing up, maturing. Does He want us to change who we are at our inner core? I don’t believe He does. He made us, gifted us and called us all to be unique and worthy. Sometimes we get trapped or sidetracked into things that ultimately aren’t good for us. And He still loves us.
Do we really understand how incredible that gift is? We stand before Him stripped down – all laid bare and he steps towards us, arms wide and pulls us into the biggest bear hug. His love is that deep it holds onto us in our darkest moments and when we try to run and hide. For this moment allow yourself to accept that. Embrace that feeling. Swim into the depths of a love that doesn’t hesitate to give it’s life for you. Love at it’s purest and it’s there for you.
