Yet Another Goal

If someone had told me 18 months ago that I would become fitness obsessed I would have probably collapsed laughing in their face. Funny what happens when you get angry enough with someone but aware enough to know you need to find a healthy way to deal with it.

That is why I started running... because I didn't want to take my stress and bad mood out on my family, they didn't deserve it. Various people told me I would love running, it would make me feel so great. Well that never happened. I got to need it, if I didn't go I felt terrible. At least physically it was working for me and definitely filled the title of stress reliever, but it was never something I really enjoyed.

Then we stumbled across this guy who posted get fit clips on youtube and somehow his short little workouts inspired me. Sure they were brutal but manageable at least once I'd done them a few times. Then came to buying of my own weights and I discovered something I really enjoyed. Oh don't get me wrong, the idea of going to a gym does not inspire me. In fact it is something that has rather the opposite effect. Weights though and cardio while I'm watching tv, now that I can do almost every night.

This fitness thing then led me to applying for the reserves, speaking of which I have my first interview next week, so in less than a weeks time I will know if I'm going through to the next round.

It seems though that my fitness focus is not yet over. My very dear friend Jodie came around last night and told me we were going to do this event called Tough Mudder. I was sure she had never mentioned it before, she insisted she had, a fact that in the grand scheme of things is neither her nor there. She described it to me, I looked it up and am now a little obsessed with being able to achieve this massive insane thing.

So it appears as if the power that is, is not yet finished with my fitness overhaul.

An 18-20 km run broken up by a whole heap of military style obstacles. Totally insane and yet here I sit planning out both my military physical training and now beyond to Mudder. It's a good thing Mudder isn't coming my way until next year.

Happy 40th birthday Kylie (yeah I know most girls would treat themselves to clothes, jewellery or accessories). Welcome to my party.

I Have Done It Now

I now have a goal. I took my desire to find something new, a challenge and I have taken steps to pursue a totally different kind of thing.
A few months ago an idea came to me and I mulled on it for a while before deciding that when these positions opened up that I would apply, the draw back to this is that the whole process before you even find out if you have been accepted takes about 9 - 12 months. That is a fair chunk of time, so much can happen.
I accepted this would take a while so set about looking at other jobs and trying for a career change. Then out of no-where a thought came to me. I looked it up, checked out the application process, went in and spoke to someone to get more information and took the first step.
I am applying for the Army Reserves.
I know, at first glance it seems rather left of field. When I was younger I contemplated the airforce but back then women weren't allowed to fly jets so the appeal was lost a little for me. Until now it's simply not been something that entered my mind. The more I think about it at the moment the more it feels like the right thing.
Of course just because it feels like the right thing doesn't mean the recruiters are going to think we are a good match. However I have booked my first appointment and done a heap of research. Also I am working on being able to hit the physical fitness aspects; the push ups and sit ups aren't the problem I can already hit both required numbers. What is going to be tough is the shuttle runs. Sprints have never been my strong suit. Even all the running I've been doing the last 15 or so months doesn't make this challenge easy. If it was a distance run...well that is what I have been doing already but in some ways it doesn't prepare you for the sprints. Having said that, if I hadn't been doing the 3km runs then my cardio would struggle so much more.
In a way the funny thing is, before I decided to apply for the army, I was already working on my upper body strength. Hubby had bought me dumbbells for my own personal training before I even had this thought, and I have discovered I like weight training.
I have already improved quite a bit in the last few days since I've started the shuttle runs but somedays the difficulty of it is a bit disheartening. I only hope my own personal determination to achieve the goals I set before myself is up to this challenge. Past experience has shown I thrive on a challenge, so I'm going to be positive and back myself on this one too.

Week Off

I am now at the end of my week off. Sadly in this week I did not win lotto so I have to go back to work next week.
On the up side school went back and it looks like Miss 8's teacher isn't going to make it easy for her to slack off this year, which is a very good thing. Also Miss 4 has now started full time education and seems to love it.
All this meant I had three days to indulge in writing and such.
Yesterday though things hit somewhat of a wall. This feeling and place is not all that unfamiliar to me. The truth is I get down periodically. It's a frustration and a need to find change. In short I'm bored with certain things in my life. At the moment the main source of that frustration is my job. I know how silly, I am a grown woman who is frustrated with work. Oh I like reading still but I think I've mastered the job I have. Oh by no means to I think I know everything, it's a changing landscape so there is always more to learn and experience, but retail?
Well truthfully it's the retail side of things that irritates me. Some customers are awesome others not so much. I am bored with having to deal with customers, those who have no idea what they are talking about and those who believe because you work in retail you don't have a brain. Firstly loads of people who work in retail are doing it while they study. Also there are those like me who went back into the work force after quite a bit of time out who take what they can get. Me I have a degree and an associate diploma but not having actively used them means many people look over you.
The other problem I have is retail offers very little in the way of challenge and advancement. Sure I could try for management but the pay isn't all that great when you consider the hours you are expected to work and the fact you don't often get to have weekends and the like to spend with friends and family.
Retail has a high turnover because it's pay stinks yet so much is expected of those who work in the industry. My hourly rate is less than I got paid 10 years ago in hospitality. I have a family to feed and increasing utilities to deal with. Admittedly I am fortunate to work specific hours that mean I still have time to spend with my kids. A lot of parental types are not so lucky. You work what hours they want you to work or you don't have a job.
I was talking to an acquaintance and she said she got hassled at work, which proclaimed to be a family friendly environment, every time she needed to take time to be with one of her kids. Then they had a restructure thrust upon them and were told they had to adapt to the new rules which erased all their flex time and meant they had to work longer hours to fit in with the other side of the country. How is this family friendly? Bottom line is it's not.
I would like a job that could challenge me intellectually, push me to learn new things to excel in other areas. I know I can do it, when I started in books I loved to read but had no knowledge of kid's books, I got thrust there because I had kids. Now I have a blog, I write for another blog, I have built up quite a decent network of industry contacts, all off my own back. I know I can learn, I know I can adapt but so many jobs aren't interested in your potential to learn and excel they are interested in your most recent experience or piece of paper showing your qualifications.
My life isn't over yet, there are other strands I'm looking to pursue, new things that will push me into new spheres. There are even things I would love to study but the courses range from $2000 to upwards of $20000 and when you are a parent in a low income family every dollar is strictly budgeted and $2000 for a course may as well be $20000.
Maybe I need to find an old fashioned benefactor. Someone with money to burn who is willing to take a chance on a mature kinda girl who just wants to experience some different things. I know I have potential I just wonder if I can advertise for that kind of thing on Craigslist or ebay. Maybe a video plea on youTube. If I get that desperate I promise to post a link.