Life has been busy.
I'd prefer it wasn't work busy, then again it's not exactly busy at work, it's just work - a way to waste 6 hours a day.
Last week though I mixed things up a little - I didn't have lunch rather I fasted that meal. Now fasting one meal a day may not mean much but here's what that added up to - 3 extra hours of prayer time and in a life where prayer time is well, just when ever, then I figure it's not a bad thing.
To be honest I only fasted because God dropped into my mind to do so and I didn't know what to expect from it. I have to say though it was a good experience, I was a little calmer and even though I was and am still frustrated about lack of certain things moving forward I do at the moment feel more hopeful for the future. And that can't be a bad thing.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
Challenge Yourself
Over the last little while I have been involved with projects that challenge me in one way or another. Really in regards to one issue - body image.
I don't have the best body image. I'm short, I used to have pert boobs, no stretch marks and less weight across my butt, hips and stomach.
So what, you may say, you've had two kids.
Yes I have and so in some ways my body will never be the same. I can't afford a personal trainer or plastic surgery but I am exercising three or so times a week, which is something I started doing last year.
Any way back to challenging myself.
Two projects came my way around the same time.
The first was a one act play, set in a lypo-suction clinic and told the stories of 4 very different women who ended up there. This was confronting for me because at the end we strip down to our underwear in front of the whole audience. The other challenge for me was the character the director wanted me to play was the one who self harmed - if you've read some of my other posts you will know this is some thing I used to do. I decided that I found this scary - I have stretch marks for crying out loud. So I decided - mostly because a dear friend was directing, that I would face my fear and do this.
Then hot on the back of this casting I get a message from another friend/director asking me if I would be interested in doing a 'Calendar Girls' style calendar shoot to raise some money for a theatre. I choked - for those not familiar with the story or film, that means sans clothing. Naked. If the other one was scary then this terrified me. Now see there is one problem with being a personality type like mine. I see a fear in myself, and think about all the self image problems friends and young girls have and I say no, I will not let this fear rule me. I tell my girls appearance isn't everything and now here was my chance to stand up in my own way and say this is my body and so what if it's not modernly tiny and perfect but it's my body I mostly like it and I am beautiful. So I said yes and it scared the absolute crap out of me.
Now the photo shoot is done and we will soon see the finished product. Along the way it also became not about any money for the theatre, who backed out, but about raising money for ovarian cancer, we figured many knew about breast cancer and it's fundraising so we would do something less well advertised. It has gotten bigger than we were originally thinking. And while I see everyone else's pictures and think wow, and see mine and go mmm, I trust the photographer and the fact that we are all probably in some ways our toughest critics (or that may be just some of us).
And now I find myself being a genuine Miss July.
Some times you need to acknowledge your fears, face up to them, no matter how terrified you are of them and take that step forward.
Oh and yes I realise it's yet another thing that very well may count against me as far as my being a good christian girl goes, but this is important on so many levels.
I don't have the best body image. I'm short, I used to have pert boobs, no stretch marks and less weight across my butt, hips and stomach.
So what, you may say, you've had two kids.
Yes I have and so in some ways my body will never be the same. I can't afford a personal trainer or plastic surgery but I am exercising three or so times a week, which is something I started doing last year.
Any way back to challenging myself.
Two projects came my way around the same time.
The first was a one act play, set in a lypo-suction clinic and told the stories of 4 very different women who ended up there. This was confronting for me because at the end we strip down to our underwear in front of the whole audience. The other challenge for me was the character the director wanted me to play was the one who self harmed - if you've read some of my other posts you will know this is some thing I used to do. I decided that I found this scary - I have stretch marks for crying out loud. So I decided - mostly because a dear friend was directing, that I would face my fear and do this.
Then hot on the back of this casting I get a message from another friend/director asking me if I would be interested in doing a 'Calendar Girls' style calendar shoot to raise some money for a theatre. I choked - for those not familiar with the story or film, that means sans clothing. Naked. If the other one was scary then this terrified me. Now see there is one problem with being a personality type like mine. I see a fear in myself, and think about all the self image problems friends and young girls have and I say no, I will not let this fear rule me. I tell my girls appearance isn't everything and now here was my chance to stand up in my own way and say this is my body and so what if it's not modernly tiny and perfect but it's my body I mostly like it and I am beautiful. So I said yes and it scared the absolute crap out of me.
Now the photo shoot is done and we will soon see the finished product. Along the way it also became not about any money for the theatre, who backed out, but about raising money for ovarian cancer, we figured many knew about breast cancer and it's fundraising so we would do something less well advertised. It has gotten bigger than we were originally thinking. And while I see everyone else's pictures and think wow, and see mine and go mmm, I trust the photographer and the fact that we are all probably in some ways our toughest critics (or that may be just some of us).
And now I find myself being a genuine Miss July.
Some times you need to acknowledge your fears, face up to them, no matter how terrified you are of them and take that step forward.
Oh and yes I realise it's yet another thing that very well may count against me as far as my being a good christian girl goes, but this is important on so many levels.
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