You see this week a person I know admitted to suffering from a mental illness, at the same time they said their partner had been cheating on them for months. And that is all the details you will get for this isn't a gossip column, but the details are pertinent.
In the aftermath of these disclosures things have been said, yes there were plenty of encouraging and supportive things but the thing I am going to focus on is this, 'oh well I'm sure God will bring restoration to your marriage'.
WHAT! Hello?
Seriously of all the things that could be said. If I was in that situation and someone said that to me I may plant my fist in their face, and yes I know that response isn't very christian, but I'm not at all convinced what they said to this person was all that christian either.
Someone going through something like that doesn't want to hear that. Or at least I can't imagine they do.
This made me remember the time I called my dying mother up on the phone, she sounded very unhappy. I asked her what was wrong and it came out that people from her church had been saying to her that she needed to 'look deep within for she must have sin she refused to admit to or God would have healed her', or words to that effect. I was irate. Now I may not be a picture perfect christian but my mum was a lot closer to that than I was. I wanted to go down there and smack them out.
So this brings me to my thing for today, what makes christians feel the need to spout such utter rubbish sometimes? Do they simply not think before they open their mouths? Or are they so drowning in the rhetoric that they can't come up with something genuine to say?
And let me make it clear that these people are certainly in the minority but that it happens at all really bugs me. (And yes I know that sometimes God does bring about restoration though I'm sure if you ask those people it's not without some hard work and miraculous forgiveness first) Sometimes it seems to me that those that don't go around professing their goodness and relationship with God get it more right, you wouldn't hear one of my non-church going friends suggesting you hope for restoration of marriage, nor blaming some hidden sin for sickness. In fact they would probably help kick the cheating so and so out and be the first to ask 'hey sucks you're so sick is there anything we can do?'
1 comment:
Been off of my blogging for a bit, but have enjoyed catching up on yours Kylie... and I totally get back you 100 percent here, I do agree that sometimes it's because christians don't know what else to say -- I get it all the time with 'helpful advice' about my PTSD and depression ... but to hear that someone said that to your beautiful mum, well, that makes my blood boil!!! ...words can build and they can also destroy, and because of that some people just need to learn to shut the hell up!
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