I can hardly see because of the tears in my eyes and it’s not what someone has done to me or even to anyone I know. What set me off was a story about a mother who told her child she didn’t want the gift he had saved his money to buy for her. This woman has walked out on her marriage and her kids and I just want to slap her or something worse. I know, sometimes my feelings just aren’t very Christian.
I saw that little boy and it looked as though all he really wanted was a mother’s hug. What are we doing to our kids?
There’s this thought that’s been going over and over in my mind the last couple of days and that is I think we need to take something from the Hippocratic Oath – First do no harm.
Forget new years resolutions and prenuptial agreements, forget me first and survival of the fittest. Every year, if not more often, maybe even first thing every day, we should take the oath to – first do no harm. Simple, no caveats, no clauses, no excuses.
This applies to big and small and I’m talking about myself too. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’ve hurt people because they hurt me or I thought they would. I’m sure I’ve probably hurt people I’m not aware of. Sure I haven’t killed, abused or any of those things we first think of as hurtful. But we underestimate our words. Before I speak perhaps I should put it through the filter of ‘first do no harm’. Before I act I should ask myself does what I’m about to do pass through that filter?
It’s all very well and good to say ‘what about me? what do I want?’ but think about it, I reckon we would all say we don’t want to be hurt. Why then do we think it’s okay to hurt others. I don’t want to be in this relationship any more; I don’t want to be a parent at the moment; why should I work when I can get welfare or just take what I want from you?; how dare you have something I don’t have; how dare you cut me off; wouldn’t it be fun to throw this rock at that car; or aim this laser at that plane. Even wouldn’t it be a laugh to humiliate, pick on, tease or torture this person. We can’t seem to stop thinking about ourselves. What would happen if everything we did was visited on us in turn? Our crime rate is high. Our divorce rate is high. Our apathy rate is high.
Please just take a minute to think about the poor person who was tortured and humiliated by classmates, and when arrested the parents jump in to defend their kids. Then there are those who do that sort of thing only to amplify the humiliation and pain of the victim by posting the footage of what they did online. How is that acceptable on any level? If there had have been even a hint of me doing something like that I so would’ve copped it. It’s called discipline.
Growing up I learnt that my actions have consequences. Too many people today live as if their actions don’t and the kids must get that attitude from somewhere. If there is one thing I’ve learnt from my eldest, and I know there has been more than one thing, it’s that kids model the behaviour they see, or are exposed to. With younger people displaying so much ‘I deserve, you owe me,’ self-obsession, we need to wonder what they are modelling it on. I’m sure there are some who will lay the blame squarely on the media, but the media often perpetuates society, so we really need to accept our own part in this. Also there will be those who claim there is nothing they can do because parents have been legislated out of disciplining their children, while this may be a contributing factor we cannot avoid the fact that often we simply don’t display the right sort of behaviour.
There are many sayings or ideologies that touch on this; karma, what goes around comes around, even the bible deals with it.
I saw that little boy and it looked as though all he really wanted was a mother’s hug. What are we doing to our kids?
There’s this thought that’s been going over and over in my mind the last couple of days and that is I think we need to take something from the Hippocratic Oath – First do no harm.
Forget new years resolutions and prenuptial agreements, forget me first and survival of the fittest. Every year, if not more often, maybe even first thing every day, we should take the oath to – first do no harm. Simple, no caveats, no clauses, no excuses.
This applies to big and small and I’m talking about myself too. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. I’ve hurt people because they hurt me or I thought they would. I’m sure I’ve probably hurt people I’m not aware of. Sure I haven’t killed, abused or any of those things we first think of as hurtful. But we underestimate our words. Before I speak perhaps I should put it through the filter of ‘first do no harm’. Before I act I should ask myself does what I’m about to do pass through that filter?
It’s all very well and good to say ‘what about me? what do I want?’ but think about it, I reckon we would all say we don’t want to be hurt. Why then do we think it’s okay to hurt others. I don’t want to be in this relationship any more; I don’t want to be a parent at the moment; why should I work when I can get welfare or just take what I want from you?; how dare you have something I don’t have; how dare you cut me off; wouldn’t it be fun to throw this rock at that car; or aim this laser at that plane. Even wouldn’t it be a laugh to humiliate, pick on, tease or torture this person. We can’t seem to stop thinking about ourselves. What would happen if everything we did was visited on us in turn? Our crime rate is high. Our divorce rate is high. Our apathy rate is high.
Please just take a minute to think about the poor person who was tortured and humiliated by classmates, and when arrested the parents jump in to defend their kids. Then there are those who do that sort of thing only to amplify the humiliation and pain of the victim by posting the footage of what they did online. How is that acceptable on any level? If there had have been even a hint of me doing something like that I so would’ve copped it. It’s called discipline.
Growing up I learnt that my actions have consequences. Too many people today live as if their actions don’t and the kids must get that attitude from somewhere. If there is one thing I’ve learnt from my eldest, and I know there has been more than one thing, it’s that kids model the behaviour they see, or are exposed to. With younger people displaying so much ‘I deserve, you owe me,’ self-obsession, we need to wonder what they are modelling it on. I’m sure there are some who will lay the blame squarely on the media, but the media often perpetuates society, so we really need to accept our own part in this. Also there will be those who claim there is nothing they can do because parents have been legislated out of disciplining their children, while this may be a contributing factor we cannot avoid the fact that often we simply don’t display the right sort of behaviour.
There are many sayings or ideologies that touch on this; karma, what goes around comes around, even the bible deals with it.
Do not judge and you won’t be judged. Do not condemn and you
won’t be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven. Give and
it will be given to you a good measure pressed down, shaken together
and running over will be poured into your lap. For with the measure
you use it will be measured to you.
Luke 6:37-38
Do unto others what you would have them do unto you
Matthew 7:12
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also
to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:4
It is by no means a new concept simply an old one it wouldn’t hurt us to revisit and if that means we need to reword it then that’s what we do.
First do no harm. If we can’t do it for ourselves (when we have no problem doing everything else for ourselves) then we need to think of the kids. We need to start modelling a lifestyle that shows happiness and hope not constant selfishness and greed. I know it’s not easy but how about today we put someone else first.
1 comment:
Kylie, great post. Your words make my heart beat faster. I feel your emotion and sense of outrage, which inspires me to do better and to hold others accountable as well.
Diane L. Harris
http://www.steppingintothelight.net
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