At the moment my faith isn’t easy. Don’t get me wrong, believing in God hasn’t gotten harder but doing what I know to be right is a little tough. After my accident I knew the right thing to do was stop working. So many people cautioned me against it. But I knew it was what I had to do. In part because it’s not the first time God has told me to leave a job. The first time around I thought I couldn’t possibly be hearing God but because I didn’t do it, I went from being a valued employee to not having a job in the space of a week.
This time I listened.
To truly understand what that meant you need to realize that my income was our safety net, sure we got a few luxuries but more often than not it was how the bills got met every month. Stopping work didn’t just mean I couldn’t buy any more dvd’s, it was however, the right thing to do.
The thing is that often when we step out of the boat we expect God to smooth the water and make it solid so everything will be fine and it will be like walking on dry land. In my experience that is not the case. Right at the moment I am out of the boat and far from the water being still and solid, it is instead, seeming as if it is being churned up and a storm is raging.
My husband changed to what was supposed to be (and started off as) a better paying job, and certain positive things happened in regards to my writing. Then just as we think the water isn’t too soft – work slows right down, things stop working and the gales of life start buffeting us again.
Money is tight, someone who was supposed to be a friend stabbed my hubby so thoroughly in the back that I’m sure that relationship is over, I found out something not so great and my phone got cut off. I still know what we chose was the right thing to do but right now I feel as though I am balancing on a high-wire over a very deep canyon and there is no safety net.
I’m not whining, or at least I’m trying not to, and I’m trying to avoid the pity party train. I just wonder why we tend to think God only asks us to do things that will make our lives easier, short and long term?
This time I listened.
To truly understand what that meant you need to realize that my income was our safety net, sure we got a few luxuries but more often than not it was how the bills got met every month. Stopping work didn’t just mean I couldn’t buy any more dvd’s, it was however, the right thing to do.
The thing is that often when we step out of the boat we expect God to smooth the water and make it solid so everything will be fine and it will be like walking on dry land. In my experience that is not the case. Right at the moment I am out of the boat and far from the water being still and solid, it is instead, seeming as if it is being churned up and a storm is raging.
My husband changed to what was supposed to be (and started off as) a better paying job, and certain positive things happened in regards to my writing. Then just as we think the water isn’t too soft – work slows right down, things stop working and the gales of life start buffeting us again.
Money is tight, someone who was supposed to be a friend stabbed my hubby so thoroughly in the back that I’m sure that relationship is over, I found out something not so great and my phone got cut off. I still know what we chose was the right thing to do but right now I feel as though I am balancing on a high-wire over a very deep canyon and there is no safety net.
I’m not whining, or at least I’m trying not to, and I’m trying to avoid the pity party train. I just wonder why we tend to think God only asks us to do things that will make our lives easier, short and long term?
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