Maybe someone who is a far better Christian than me can explain something to me.
I know a girl. She’s divorced, a single mum, with a bunch of hang ups that anyone could have. I know a guy, divorced, barely sees his kid except when it suits him. Unfortunately this description fits several friends of mine and even more women I know. However this isn’t what I need to have explained.
Here are further details. The guy was emotionally and physically abusive in the marriage. He puts himself first, is manipulative and not so good at paying child support. Still this describes too many people.
Now this girl’s father is talking to the ex nicely, seeking him out even and telling his daughter that it is the Christian thing to do in order to show the guy forgiveness. You know what he hasn’t done? This father hasn’t once gone up to this guy and taken him to task about the way he treated his daughter, is still treating her, or his grandkid.
This girl is confused. She wants a man to stand for her, to say that the way she’s been treated is wrong, I say that but it’s not the same, and I’m not trying to be sexist or anything. Instead she tries to push those feelings aside and convince herself that those feelings are selfish and vengeful. (Not her exact words but my interpretation).
I understand her desire; what’s more I’d feel the same way.
People say that having a word with this ex, is a waste of time because he won’t listen. Any one ever think that he doesn’t listen because no-one has ever made him listen?
I’m certain my rough as guts dad, who isn’t without his faults, would have some choice words to say if it was an ex in my life, of course he’d probably have some choice words for me too, but at least he’d stand up for me.
So here’s what I want explained. Where is the line between showing forgiveness and standing for those who can’t stand for themselves? Where should the priority be – the hurting daughter or the selfish ex-son-in-law?
Believe me I have a few choice words burning to get out. And I have to wonder if ‘turning the other cheek’ and ‘vengeance is mine said the Lord’ has turned us all into a bunch of people more interested in keeping the status quo than standing for what is right.
I am reminded of Nicely Nicely’s dream – “Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down you’re rocking the boat”.
I know a girl. She’s divorced, a single mum, with a bunch of hang ups that anyone could have. I know a guy, divorced, barely sees his kid except when it suits him. Unfortunately this description fits several friends of mine and even more women I know. However this isn’t what I need to have explained.
Here are further details. The guy was emotionally and physically abusive in the marriage. He puts himself first, is manipulative and not so good at paying child support. Still this describes too many people.
Now this girl’s father is talking to the ex nicely, seeking him out even and telling his daughter that it is the Christian thing to do in order to show the guy forgiveness. You know what he hasn’t done? This father hasn’t once gone up to this guy and taken him to task about the way he treated his daughter, is still treating her, or his grandkid.
This girl is confused. She wants a man to stand for her, to say that the way she’s been treated is wrong, I say that but it’s not the same, and I’m not trying to be sexist or anything. Instead she tries to push those feelings aside and convince herself that those feelings are selfish and vengeful. (Not her exact words but my interpretation).
I understand her desire; what’s more I’d feel the same way.
People say that having a word with this ex, is a waste of time because he won’t listen. Any one ever think that he doesn’t listen because no-one has ever made him listen?
I’m certain my rough as guts dad, who isn’t without his faults, would have some choice words to say if it was an ex in my life, of course he’d probably have some choice words for me too, but at least he’d stand up for me.
So here’s what I want explained. Where is the line between showing forgiveness and standing for those who can’t stand for themselves? Where should the priority be – the hurting daughter or the selfish ex-son-in-law?
Believe me I have a few choice words burning to get out. And I have to wonder if ‘turning the other cheek’ and ‘vengeance is mine said the Lord’ has turned us all into a bunch of people more interested in keeping the status quo than standing for what is right.
I am reminded of Nicely Nicely’s dream – “Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down you’re rocking the boat”.
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