Temper, Temper

I am imperfect. This is really no surprise to anyone who knows me. I think like most people I have certain traits I need to work on again and again. For me one of these things is my temper. It became abundantly clear this week with a lot of crap going on at work that I need to work on myself again. Things are a mess and instead of just accepting it and doing the best I can in the given circumstance, I get really tense. I get fired up and I seem to blow that switch in my head that separates thoughts from what I say. I did that this week and hubby cautioned me to watch myself.

I need to take a step back and relearn how to prioritise the big picture rather than just my section of it. I need to relearn how to go off and take a few deep breaths and come back calmer. I need to remember that I can’t control everything no matter how much I may want to. Not that I want that much responsibility.

So here’s the thing. Some times there are things in our lives that we struggle or strive to overcome and there are times we think when we conquer it that we are done. We think we will only ever have to do that once, like a test in school, we pass so we never have to sit it again. Unfortunately this doesn’t seem to be the case. For me, and so I guess I’m assuming for others as well, there are things that we will have to work on for the rest of our lives. Addicts are an easily recognised example of this. Once an alcoholic always one, some are simply reformed and fighting everyday not to give back in to the temptation. There are some things though that can be more subtle, like my temper. I’ve gotten the better of it and calmed myself down and managed to handle things better more than once in my life and now, when I finally find a job I mostly enjoy and am pretty good at, stuff happens and I find myself where I was years ago telling myself to work on my control.

So this is just a heads up to not turn a blind eye to the things you’ve had victory over before, be vigilant and hopefully you will see the signs and be able to turn the situation around early on, unlike me.