The last couple of weeks have been tough, emotionally. One day I came home from work and I’d been in the house for less than five minutes with the girls saying ‘mummy I want,’ ‘mummy can I’, ‘mummy…’ and I ended up sitting on the kitchen floor in front of the fridge in tears.
There’s just so much I want out of life, there’s so much I try to do and it seems that just when I start to smooth things out; the real estate agent gets on my case about rent I’d already paid but they’d lost, or work goes to crap because the powers that be…well who knows what they’re thinking, the mechanic makes excuses for why he didn’t do all the work he was supposed to.
It’s so hard to stay focussed and on target sometimes.
Then into all this I find out a close friend who has been faithful in doing what he believes God has told him to do even when it’s been tough, had a cancer removed from his bowel. They think they got it all.
And so I end up sitting on the floor of the shower, crying and pouring out all my frustration to God because I just don’t know what else to do. All I know is that I can’t be the only one who wonders why they try when things seem to fall into place for those who turn their backs on God.
I wonder and I question and I cry because I don’t know what else to do.
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