I believe it’s time for me to start thinking again. What do I mean by that? Well my last few entries have all been from my holiday, it’s been a while since I’ve applied myself to something deeper, more explosive or faith based.
I think I’ll talk a little about something that fits into the latter category.
The other day hubby got a forwarded e-mail about the end times. It started with the preacher who wrote the original article saying he had believed the end of the world would be in 2009 and God told him it was meant to be but He had delayed it for ‘a twinkling of an eye’.
The feelings this pulled from me weren’t great. I don’t want the world to end, sure I’m not exactly where I want to be but there is still so much I want to do, not least of all watch my children grow up.
End time stuff, is to my way of thinking, an odd thing to be focussed on. This preacher was convinced he knew the time, but how many times does he have to be wrong before people stop listening to you.
Also is it really living if you are totally focussed on heaven? Why do people want to know when? Why not just work on living the best you can in the present?
Of course it is possible that part of my problem is rooted in the problems I have with my faith. How can I look forward to going to heaven when I don’t even look forward to going to church? How can I believe heaven will be exciting and life as it was always meant to be lived, when I find church boring and myself not totally accepted because my idea of using my abilities doesn’t seem to gel with any churches idea?
Of course there are things I would look forward to. Who would not want to spend time with great creative minds like CS Lewis, Tolkien, Fanny Cosby and Ted Dekker. (though I have no place to judge who has/hasn’t, will/won’t make it to heaven). Or talking to men and women who stood, believed and influenced their corners of the world.
I still believe I have faith I just no longer know what to call it. I’m not non-practicing in that I still pray and meditate on God, but if I’m totally truthful I’d have to say God is not the most important thing in my life, so I’m not really sure where that leaves me.
3 comments:
less full of shit than plenty of other people :)
Kylie, thought I'd pop in and check out your blog. Since you are on the end times, I have to ask, what if there was a different way of looking at this? What if fundamentalists have it all wrong (predicting the end in 2009 doesn't sound all that right after all) and what if the real, authentic message of Revelation is more about hope? What if it was more about a "thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth" type prayer for deliverance for all the brokenness we experience here and now? Even the brokenness we experience in church?
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