My seven year old went to a school dance the other night, once she was dressed up with hair and makeup I took a picture and she totally didn’t look seven any more. She has the rib sticking out skinniness of the supermodel yet she eats and junk too. However she has never been a big eater, always a bit fussy.
Food is one of the things we are working on, this isn’t where I was planning on going with this blog though. Where I wanted to go was here…
She was wearing the same dress she’d worn to the previous dance, long skirt, halter-neck top with a v neck line. Last time she looked sweet and this time she looked like a mini model. Last time her hair and makeup wouldn’t have been so elaborate and it surprised me that such a small change made so much difference. There wasn’t anything particularly tarty about either addition. Her hair was braided into a reverse ponytail with two skinny side braids, and she had on eye liner and mascara (which I wouldn’t have done) and glitter shadow and spray (which I would have).
She was staying at a friends, whose mother is a hairdresser and beautician. I couldn’t do the hair and makeup as skilfully I admit but I just couldn’t get over how different the dress and she looked this time around. Which really is just a long lead into my rant on the sexualization of our children.
A picture appeared in the paper the other day of a nine year old dressed like…well lets just say I was wondering what on earth her parents were thinking when they let her leave the house. I can walk through the children’s department and find bras for kids my daughters age. They serve no purpose other than to encourage the child to think they are older or need to be older and more developed.
Our children watch video clips and think they need to be able to imitate those women to be attractive.
By the time my eldest was five she was asking for jewellery, make up and heels so she would look beautiful. It’s a constant effort to convince her that none of those things are of true value. Now for those of you who don’t know me I wear very little makeup only when I’m on stage or going out. My hubby tells me all the time I look good no matter what I’m wearing, so that’s not where the idea is coming from either.
Are the examples our children are surrounded by, so much influenced by the idea that beauty is a skinny, skimpily clad, heavily made-up woman? Is that how we want our girls to grow? I certainly don’t. I was very proud when my daughter came to me and said she wanted to take the picture I was talking about to school to talk about for news. She said she wanted to say it was inappropriate for a girl her age to be dressed like that. Of course she couldn’t really explain what she meant by that but at least it’s a start and at least she’s listening to me when I tell her some things just aren’t for her.
I want my girls to enjoy being young and having the ability to wear whatever and go running and climbing and getting dirty. I want then to realise appearance isn’t the most important thing. That attractiveness isn’t based on the person who wears the least amount of fabric. And that attracting a boys attention isn’t something they need to be thinking about at the moment, boys do not complete them.
Dora is one of my favourite kids cartoons because she has short hair, wears shorts, goes exploring, plays games where she is a doctor and so on, and she is bi-lingual. They tried at one point to girly her up and a lot of mothers weren’t impressed. It’s very hard for us to find role models acceptable for our young girls.
Myley Cyrus/Hannah Montana is desperately trying to shed her Disney image and she is only following in the steps of others. The wholesome, smart, girl simply isn’t something they want to keep the image of. Bring me girls who are adventurous and smart, girls who want to grow into women who want to do something with their lives.
We’ve come a long way from the days where a female’s options were very limited, and yet still we are obsessed with keeping women looking a certain way. Quite honestly is not the way Julia Gillard got the post of PM more important than the fact she is a red head, or what her hairstyles have been over the years? I’m frustrated. I want my girls to have a balanced outlook. I want them to not be limited by their gender and I want them not to buy into the rubbish that how you look is what matters most. I’m just not sure how effective I can be when so much of what is thrown at our children in marketing and things skews the other way.
‘No honey you are seven you totally don’t need a matching bra and bikini briefs set’.
1 comment:
hmm... I struggled with this also when my girls were young. It's a very difficult one, girls will be girls and there seems to be a built in mechanism that makes them want to "sparkle".. We all had it I think... Just keep doing what you're doing Kylie, it sounds like your girls are very smart. It's the teenage years that are the hardest, but they will work it out for themselves that it really is what is in the heart that is important. xo
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