A Lady Died

A woman died the other day. So what you might ask? So what indeed? This woman was an elderly woman and I believe she was living by herself. This woman died, not of natural causes but as a result of someone breaking into her house while she was there. She didn’t die because they beat her or anything (though there is plenty of that going on as well) she simply died from the stress. This is my understanding from the news reports.

This was bound to happen, unfortunately.

On a related topic, someone tried to break into our place the other day. We weren’t home. We think the alarm may have scared them off.

Even if it hadn’t happened to us I’d have still been really annoyed. This is something that has been bugging me a lot. I work hard. When I don’t have a job I work hard on my writing and looking for work. I don’t slack off and I don’t like being reliant on welfare. I sure as hell don’t look at the person down the street, or in the next suburb and think I have a claim on their stuff just because.

Sure there have always been people that way inclined, sadly, but the action so often comes with excuses these days. You know what? I’m sick of them. There simply is no excuse to terrify an old lady to death just because you want what little she has.

Sadly she probably won’t be the last this happens to.

Mother's Day

It was mother’s day yesterday and while this post would perhaps have been more appropriate posted then it’s getting done today. I’m a mother, I was having as much of a day off as possible.

My focus however isn’t so much on me.

I miss my mother, it’s been nearly six years since she died and there are days I really wish she was still here so I could share with her. You know just sit and have a coffee and talk, it doesn’t have to be about anything important. I miss the connection. I’m sad she never got to know my girls.

I have my two girls whom I love immensely and bring so much joy into my life. I love watching them grow. Each stage brings with it something else to enjoy, even when it can be frustrating. I hope and pray that I am up to the task of raising them to be the best ‘them’ they can be, and that my quirks don’t mess them up too badly.

Then I got to thinking about young women, the rise in crime  among females and the rise in single young mothers we are seeing. If you are a regular reader of my blog you may realise that these are things very close to my heart. It saddens me to see so many young women, girls really trying to grow up so fast and destroying their lives. There is so much of self and want and in some ways so very little of giving that I wonder what effect this is going to have on the woman of the future. I wonder what she will look like? In some ways the possibilities scare me. But I know there is always hope.

So to all you mothers out there, for all the good days and the tough ones I salute you, and pray for wisdom in raising your children.

Looking For Work

I hate job hunting. Mostly I think because nothing ever seems quite right. One of the jobs I thought about applying for prompted my hubby to say ‘but you’d hate that.’ I couldn’t disagree, I could only say ‘but I’d hate to go back to cleaning more’.

Even a job working at a place that does DVD sales and rentals as well as music and books, has its down side, its opening hours are 10am to 11pm or midnight. If I was single or just childless the hours wouldn’t bother me at all. That’s not the case though, and I can’t afford to be too picky.

It would be great if someone would pay my hubby to stay in his studio and finish his album, he’s already got buyers and it’s not close to being finished. The other alternative is someone could pay me to write, then at least I’d have a good reason to stay off facebook and mafia wars.

I’ve motivated myself through writing two novels, two full length plays, two feature scripts as well as a bunch of one acts and short films, but sometimes it’s easier to let depression take hold and just stare at the computer screen, playing games and being remarkably unproductive.

So until a wealthy benefactor throws some funding our way, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Post office job here I come….Does anyone know a wealthy benefactor?

Argghh! The Stupidity

The state of things in my life recently causes me to wonder. Someone I had considered a friend threatened to sue me not long ago. Why you may ask? Well it boils down to the fact I expressed my pissed off and hurt emotions publicly. This of course only served to make me more pissed off and hurt.

My friends mean a lot to me, I would go into a fight for them and this person, well they trampled all over me. So I ask you, should I have taken that quietly and laid down as the feet pushed my face further into the mud? Unfortunately that’s not in my nature.

So now as things stand I feel used and lied to. This person looked me in the eye and said they lived their life with integrity. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I’m not as evil as my evil twin would have me be.

Help! My life inadvertently became a Springer episode, and somehow I’ve been left sitting on the stage stunned by the glare.

Easter???

I walked out of church on Easter Sunday morning. Part of me thought I shouldn’t because it would be considered rude, but I just couldn’t stay there while my spirit longed for a more intimate connection with God. Also when I went back in I didn’t take communion. I know, how shocking, but I’m sure it says in the Bible not to take communion lightly and with the wrong heart. My heart wasn’t in that place. Not that I wasn’t thankful, grateful and all those things that we acknowledge at Easter, I was and I am, I just wasn’t about to take it because of form. Form is what has been getting to me. The package is seemingly empty and I want more than that.

And I’ve heard all the arguments that we are supposed to be part of the church and use our gifts for the church, and that I shouldn’t go to church for myself and what I get out of it. You know what though? If church is like the family dinner you are obligated to go to that you leave feeling as though there were no connections and it was a waste of time, then is that the position I want to place myself in, in my relationship with God? I think not. I want something real. Honest. I can’t remember the last time during a worship service that people singing about bowing their knees before God, actually did that. I can’t remember that last time it was bought to my attention in church that “woe to me…I am ruined! I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” (Isaiah 6) I cannot remember the last time someone from a pulpit said God is King, he is Sovereign he deserves the bent knee, the downcast eye and the bowed head.

Back to the Easter service. It ended with prayers to God to overcome our problems and bless us. Of course as I had walked out it’s entirely possible I missed something, though the small bit of the service I heard indicated that that something wasn’t the something I was longing for. Honestly it left a really bad taste in my mouth. Should Easter Sunday not be the day we take a break from coming to God with our hand out asking for more and simply be grateful for the awesome, absolutely earth-shattering sacrifice that made Easter, Easter.

 

Sad Satisfations

I went out the other night to watch my hubby play. I do that periodically. I love watching him play and I like dancing. I really like spending that time with him. Inevitably though I end up shaking my head at what I see around me. It’s not that I ever really see anything new, rather what I see is incredibly sad. Now this isn’t going to be a piece on the evils of drink or dancing, I enjoy both on occasion.

It’s more about the screaming of souls. The silent voices that seem as clear to me as flashing neon lights flickering. ‘Look at me!’ they say. ‘I’m someone. I want to be loved, admired, wanted’.

We are looking for a particular package and if we can’t find it we can settle for whatever is available right now. Is it a sign of the fast food culture we live in that we fool ourselves into thinking that momentary gratification has value. The sad truth is that it usually doesn’t, not if we’re honest. It often leaves us feeling empty because we are then even more aware of what we don’t have.

It makes me sad for all the people who sell themselves short, who believe they don’t deserve the real thing, and for those who try to convince themselves that everything is fine and they don’t want a safe place to truly be themselves.  

Seeing that when I see my hubby in his work environment brings home extra strong just how blessed I am and I wouldn’t change that for anything. Thank you babe for loving me, rough bits, pointy edges and all.

Jeremiah 29

Jeremiah 29:11 is a very well known bible verse and an oft quoted one.

‘For I know the plans I have for you’ declares the Lord ‘plans

 to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope

 and a future.’

 

We take this verse; quote it, learn it and meditate on it with the knowledge that this is a promise of wealth. Or at least I have. The question is, is it? How often did I take into account the context of the verse?

This verse is found in a letter Jeremiah wrote to the Israelites who were exiled in Babylon. These people had been ripped out of the land they considered home and transplanted into another culture. Think about that for a moment. Some people thrive in circumstances like that, but many people I know don’t voluntarily leave the state they were born in, let alone country, so I can’t see how they would do if forcibly shifted and made to adapt to another culture.

These people were in exile, they had no choice. God put them there because they hadn’t listened to him in the first place and in this letter he tells them through Jeremiah that he doesn’t plan to harm them. I’m sure some, even many scoffed at that.

God tells the people to make Babylon their home, to seek peace and prosperity for the city for in that way they will prosper too (vs 7). This isn’t a promise to one person it is about a lifestyle for a community – have houses, gardens, food, children, weddings and seek the peace and prosperity of the city. This is not an insular thing, it is very external. It is an instruction to move forward, don’t get stuck in the past or isolate yourself. A pretty relevant lesson for today. It seems to prove we can live in the world, be a part of it, even influence it. Honestly how will anyone new be introduced to Christ if we become like the Pharisees and cut ourselves off.

Immediately after being told to increase and create a prosperous community comes a warning against false prophets.

 

Yes, this is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: “Do

not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not

listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying

lies to you in my name. I have not sent them,” declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 29:8-9

 

The phrasing seems to indicate these prophets were telling the people what they wanted to hear and it’s placement suggests to me that they may have been encouraging isolation, anger and bitterness. All things harmful to a community and individuals.

Verse ten is a reinforcement of God’s promise to deliver them from Babylon and this is the verse that directly preceeds the promise we know so well. To my mind then God seems to be saying ‘trust me I do not intend for you to be harmed by what happened, rather I would see you strengthened, prospered and with a hope for all the future holds.’

Sometimes we get offended and annoyed with God because we see things that happen as harmful simply because they don’t fit in with our plans. But if we are going to hold onto the promise of this verse we would probably do well to remember it in conjunction with

 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those

who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4;13

 

Prosperity like abundance doesn’t necessarily have to mean money. I know people who have heaps of money but they don’t have the family life I do or, in many ways the happiness. I have a prosperity of spirit that they don’t. It’s good for me to remember that when I get caught up in longing for stuff.

This letter to the people doesn’t end at verse eleven:

 

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I

will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you

seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares

the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity…

Jeremiah 29:12-14(a)

 

This is a rich and layered text. It had meaning then and has meaning now. It had specific meaning and general meaning. They turned their back on God so He stepped back from them and now He is telling them if they turn back to Him he will be there for them to find and return them to the promised land. It is also indicative of our relationship with God today, He wants a close relationship with us and so often we turn away, end up somewhere we weren’t expecting and wonder why God did it to us. We conveniently forget the choices we made that resulted in exile.

Maybe we have a tendency to take God for granted. We want the promises but don’t engage all we are into seeking God in the process. We want the blessings but we don’t want to invest anything of ourselves into getting them. We can’t earn salvation but remember faith without works is dead.

In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

James 2:17

We want the good stuff but we don’t want to actually have to do anything to get it. If we say we believe but don’t do anything about it, is our faith empty, superficial, something that is just part of the façade we show people? Will our faith stand up to exile. Is our faith active and alive or is it merely words?

The verse that means so much to us is found in a letter that goes for twenty verses. We like to pick two, one tenth of what is said, and focus on that. Consider this thought; that God is not as interested in prosperity as He is his people listening to and encouraging false prophets. We all like to hear certain things and avoid others. There is a part of us that likes to have our ears tickled but we are warned about that, in both testaments. Come on this is part of why these people were exiled in the first place. It is still a valid warning for us today.

Check with the bible, check with God and the Holy Spirit residing in you that what you are hearing is God’s word and not just what you want to hear. We hear the prosperity message crystal clear, but somehow the ‘obey me or live in exile’ part gets lost in transmission. Exile for us doesn’t mean being shipped off to another country but it could mean living outside God’s best for us and God’s best isn’t always what we think it’s going to be. God’s definition of prosperity isn’t necessarily what we want it to be. I don’t know about you but me, when I get to heaven I want to hear those words ‘well done good and faithful servant’, after all it’s not like I can take my big screen tv and DVD collection with me.