I couldn’t finish it yesterday so I’m going to try again today.
That particular Thursday we were finishing our ice-creams, her chocolate chip and my strawberry swirl, looking in the toy shop window. Jessica was listing off all the things she wanted for Christmas even though it was months away. It was at that place and time when my life fell apart.
It started with a loud noise, well noises actually, one after another in quick succession. I didn’t know it was gunfire until after the fact. Jessie fell down and I threw myself over her. People were screaming and glass was flying everywhere. There was so much happening all at once it’s difficult to describe. My only concern though was protecting Jessie.
When the gunfire stopped I sat up and picked Jessie up. I was going to hug her and reassure her that everything was all right. I’m not really sure what I said because that was my last semi-coherent thought, and I do mean semi-coherent because then I noticed all the blood. Some of it turned out to be mine but most of it was hers. That was when I think I screamed.
It took two paramedics to get her out of my arms. I didn’t want to let her go even though deep down I knew I had to.
Jessie died just as we got to the hospital. I was holding her hand. They managed to revive her and took her into surgery but she never regained consciousness. She was pronounced dead in the operating theatre. The doctor told me she wouldn’t have felt anything, wouldn’t have suffered. Like that was much of a consolation.
I was so numb. I think in many ways I still am.
That particular Thursday we were finishing our ice-creams, her chocolate chip and my strawberry swirl, looking in the toy shop window. Jessica was listing off all the things she wanted for Christmas even though it was months away. It was at that place and time when my life fell apart.
It started with a loud noise, well noises actually, one after another in quick succession. I didn’t know it was gunfire until after the fact. Jessie fell down and I threw myself over her. People were screaming and glass was flying everywhere. There was so much happening all at once it’s difficult to describe. My only concern though was protecting Jessie.
When the gunfire stopped I sat up and picked Jessie up. I was going to hug her and reassure her that everything was all right. I’m not really sure what I said because that was my last semi-coherent thought, and I do mean semi-coherent because then I noticed all the blood. Some of it turned out to be mine but most of it was hers. That was when I think I screamed.
It took two paramedics to get her out of my arms. I didn’t want to let her go even though deep down I knew I had to.
Jessie died just as we got to the hospital. I was holding her hand. They managed to revive her and took her into surgery but she never regained consciousness. She was pronounced dead in the operating theatre. The doctor told me she wouldn’t have felt anything, wouldn’t have suffered. Like that was much of a consolation.
I was so numb. I think in many ways I still am.
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