Who decides what beauty is? Before you laugh consider the question, it is a valid one. It is also one we should probably ask.
Over the years different things have been considered attractive. So what has bought us to the point of the ‘no figure’ obsession we find ourselves in now? We have all been blessed with different body types, we can’t all be Hollywood skinny and honestly why should we want to be? Even if you don’t consider the health risks.
Now I’ve got to admit here that I don’t want to be fat, and yes that is an image thing as well as a health thing. I’m no more immune to the beauty images pumped before me than others. I also believe we are in a health crisis as far as weight issues go. However I don’t think we all need to be whipcord skinny with Nic’s nose, Ange’s lips and whoever’s enhanced boobs. It’s time we really learnt to embrace ourselves as acceptable. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as the old saying goes, so isn’t it about time we became our own beholders and decided we are beautiful.
Sure we probably all have things we’d like to change about ourselves, I’m sure a lot of celebrities do too, if this wasn’t the case plastic surgeons wouldn’t be so busy or so wealthy. The thing is not all of us can afford to go under the knife and to be honest I don’t see why we should. Once we have health issues under control we should be able to enjoy the shape we are, whatever that shape is. Of course that sounds great in theory but we all know reality is a vastly different thing. It’s different because all of us, or at least most of us seek approval from others. Not even just our friends.
If we are single it’s complicated by the fact we may also be trying to attract Mr Right. It doesn’t matter how many times the experts tell us we shouldn’t look for happiness from others and that we need to find happiness and wholeness in ourselves first, we still seem to desire the external affirmation. I actually agree with the advice, I know a partner doesn’t fix all our problems or hang-ups. It’s just I also know that in me is a desire to be accepted and even attractive to others. It’s sad and even a little depressing to realise I can be so shallow, but that doesn’t make it less true.
As a side issue is it actually shallow to want to look good if it is part of a balanced approach to life? I’d have to say no and yet there have been times when I’ve purposefully not made an effort, validating it by saying people should look beyond appearance. Sadly I have been known to judge on appearance so I guess that makes me a hypocrite. I must add though that looking good and being obsessed with the images of beauty put before us are two different things.
Quite a few years ago now I was managing my husband’s band and I hit a point where I felt like all I was, was one of the guys, Steve’s wife. I didn’t feel like they saw me as a woman at all. Admittedly a fair chunk of that was my responsibility, I’m not really into fashion, make-up and other feminine pursuits, I had in fact worked at being one of the guys. Then I hit the point where I wanted to scream ‘I am a woman you know’. So I went out, cut and coloured my hair and rocked up to their next gig in a beaded top and a long, satin skirt. I looked hot, but boy it got me into trouble. My hubby was told he should control what I wore and that got me really angry. In retrospect it was an inappropriate outfit – the only thing under the top was an embroidered velvet bra, bigger than a bikini top was my argument at the time, - but still they were a Christian band playing in a Christian venue. The point I’m trying to make is we all struggle with image. I wanted to be noticed.
To this end some people try to follow every current trend thus making themselves slaves to the fashion and marketing industries and as a result the media. It might be an idea though to take a look at the faces behind these industries. Do these faces and bodies match up with the products they are selling?
Then of course there are those of us who strive in the opposite direction, saying we don’t care for fashion and stuff, as a result we often suppress or try to ignore one of the things that makes us women. We try to ignore our femininity. We say what sex we are isn’t important, you should accept us because we are capable, smart or any number of other things.
There has to be a balance out there. I haven’t found it yet but I am looking. In the process I discovered the day spa. I’ve wanted to try it for a while but always put it off as not necessary or too expensive. Then my wonderful hubby got me a half day treatment package for Christmas. It was fantastic. I came out feeling incredibly relaxed and de-stressed. I didn’t feel even a little bit guilty that I’d spent four hours being pampered which makes me think there really is something to the idea of making sure you care for yourself. I don’t just mean taking a little time away from the hubby or kids either. I’m pretty sure I was nicer to be around for a while and my hubby could’ve asked me to do just about anything and I would have done it (the next day – I was too relaxed to even cook dinner when I got home).
You may wonder how this ties into where I started. It’s obvious really. Sometimes it does even the most stubborn and ungirly of females good to allow ourselves to take care of our outsides because in doing so we feed our insides. When you are happy with the way you look, when you feel you look good, then you feel good. The problem comes when, in an effort to be liked or accepted, we try to fit into what others expect. Or even when we try to make ourselves outwardly into the images we are told are beautiful. We try to squash the feminine, gentler side of ourselves in order to be accepted in other ways.
We need to remember that real beauty doesn’t come from the make-up brush or at the hands of a cosmetic surgeon. All the money in the world can’t hide a bitter, spiteful or damaged spirit. True beauty is inner beauty, cliché that may be but it is the truth. Not everyone can be a pin-up girl or a beauty queen but every woman has within her the ability to be beautiful, to attract people to her and to be loved.
Take some time for yourself and look into your heart, your spirit, and find what it is that is you. Not what someone else says is you but what God placed in you when you were created. Find your gifts, your passions. Find forgiveness for all those things done to you that you still hold onto. If you don’t let go of those things you will never reach your full potential because there will always be something holding you back and it’s those sort of things that can fester and destroy your spirit, turning your true beauty, ugly.
External beauty can fade and ideals can change (lets hope they do). Finding who you were created to be is a gift from God that lasts forever and the beauty that comes from that will bring far more contentment than that which comes from the mirror. And always remember – a heart felt smile is transforming and good make-up can cover a multitude of beauty problems for those times you want to feel skin deep pretty.
Over the years different things have been considered attractive. So what has bought us to the point of the ‘no figure’ obsession we find ourselves in now? We have all been blessed with different body types, we can’t all be Hollywood skinny and honestly why should we want to be? Even if you don’t consider the health risks.
Now I’ve got to admit here that I don’t want to be fat, and yes that is an image thing as well as a health thing. I’m no more immune to the beauty images pumped before me than others. I also believe we are in a health crisis as far as weight issues go. However I don’t think we all need to be whipcord skinny with Nic’s nose, Ange’s lips and whoever’s enhanced boobs. It’s time we really learnt to embrace ourselves as acceptable. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as the old saying goes, so isn’t it about time we became our own beholders and decided we are beautiful.
Sure we probably all have things we’d like to change about ourselves, I’m sure a lot of celebrities do too, if this wasn’t the case plastic surgeons wouldn’t be so busy or so wealthy. The thing is not all of us can afford to go under the knife and to be honest I don’t see why we should. Once we have health issues under control we should be able to enjoy the shape we are, whatever that shape is. Of course that sounds great in theory but we all know reality is a vastly different thing. It’s different because all of us, or at least most of us seek approval from others. Not even just our friends.
If we are single it’s complicated by the fact we may also be trying to attract Mr Right. It doesn’t matter how many times the experts tell us we shouldn’t look for happiness from others and that we need to find happiness and wholeness in ourselves first, we still seem to desire the external affirmation. I actually agree with the advice, I know a partner doesn’t fix all our problems or hang-ups. It’s just I also know that in me is a desire to be accepted and even attractive to others. It’s sad and even a little depressing to realise I can be so shallow, but that doesn’t make it less true.
As a side issue is it actually shallow to want to look good if it is part of a balanced approach to life? I’d have to say no and yet there have been times when I’ve purposefully not made an effort, validating it by saying people should look beyond appearance. Sadly I have been known to judge on appearance so I guess that makes me a hypocrite. I must add though that looking good and being obsessed with the images of beauty put before us are two different things.
Quite a few years ago now I was managing my husband’s band and I hit a point where I felt like all I was, was one of the guys, Steve’s wife. I didn’t feel like they saw me as a woman at all. Admittedly a fair chunk of that was my responsibility, I’m not really into fashion, make-up and other feminine pursuits, I had in fact worked at being one of the guys. Then I hit the point where I wanted to scream ‘I am a woman you know’. So I went out, cut and coloured my hair and rocked up to their next gig in a beaded top and a long, satin skirt. I looked hot, but boy it got me into trouble. My hubby was told he should control what I wore and that got me really angry. In retrospect it was an inappropriate outfit – the only thing under the top was an embroidered velvet bra, bigger than a bikini top was my argument at the time, - but still they were a Christian band playing in a Christian venue. The point I’m trying to make is we all struggle with image. I wanted to be noticed.
To this end some people try to follow every current trend thus making themselves slaves to the fashion and marketing industries and as a result the media. It might be an idea though to take a look at the faces behind these industries. Do these faces and bodies match up with the products they are selling?
Then of course there are those of us who strive in the opposite direction, saying we don’t care for fashion and stuff, as a result we often suppress or try to ignore one of the things that makes us women. We try to ignore our femininity. We say what sex we are isn’t important, you should accept us because we are capable, smart or any number of other things.
There has to be a balance out there. I haven’t found it yet but I am looking. In the process I discovered the day spa. I’ve wanted to try it for a while but always put it off as not necessary or too expensive. Then my wonderful hubby got me a half day treatment package for Christmas. It was fantastic. I came out feeling incredibly relaxed and de-stressed. I didn’t feel even a little bit guilty that I’d spent four hours being pampered which makes me think there really is something to the idea of making sure you care for yourself. I don’t just mean taking a little time away from the hubby or kids either. I’m pretty sure I was nicer to be around for a while and my hubby could’ve asked me to do just about anything and I would have done it (the next day – I was too relaxed to even cook dinner when I got home).
You may wonder how this ties into where I started. It’s obvious really. Sometimes it does even the most stubborn and ungirly of females good to allow ourselves to take care of our outsides because in doing so we feed our insides. When you are happy with the way you look, when you feel you look good, then you feel good. The problem comes when, in an effort to be liked or accepted, we try to fit into what others expect. Or even when we try to make ourselves outwardly into the images we are told are beautiful. We try to squash the feminine, gentler side of ourselves in order to be accepted in other ways.
We need to remember that real beauty doesn’t come from the make-up brush or at the hands of a cosmetic surgeon. All the money in the world can’t hide a bitter, spiteful or damaged spirit. True beauty is inner beauty, cliché that may be but it is the truth. Not everyone can be a pin-up girl or a beauty queen but every woman has within her the ability to be beautiful, to attract people to her and to be loved.
Take some time for yourself and look into your heart, your spirit, and find what it is that is you. Not what someone else says is you but what God placed in you when you were created. Find your gifts, your passions. Find forgiveness for all those things done to you that you still hold onto. If you don’t let go of those things you will never reach your full potential because there will always be something holding you back and it’s those sort of things that can fester and destroy your spirit, turning your true beauty, ugly.
External beauty can fade and ideals can change (lets hope they do). Finding who you were created to be is a gift from God that lasts forever and the beauty that comes from that will bring far more contentment than that which comes from the mirror. And always remember – a heart felt smile is transforming and good make-up can cover a multitude of beauty problems for those times you want to feel skin deep pretty.
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