The Oasis - ch 2

Rachel never said a word to her parents about that holiday or the consecutive ones.
When her parents insisted she go back to the farm after that nightmare year Rachel hoped Trevor would have forgotten all about it, and moved on to something else. She was wrong. The second night she was there he came into her room. He told her he had been waiting all year for her visit. Rachel tried fighting back once but Trevor hit her and made it hurt more so she didn’t fight back again. She just lay there until he was gone and tried to think about being somewhere else.
It became more obvious to her as time went on that Trevor’s parting words from that first nightmare year were right. Her parents were much more interested in their own lives than in hers. Even when they asked how she was or what she’d been doing it seemed more for form than any real interest. They always seemed distracted, like they were never really listening. Rachel never felt as if she had their undivided attention.
Parents were supposed to genuinely care about their children yet hers always had something else they had to focus on. When they were talking to her their thoughts seemed to be somewhere else. When they weren’t working they had functions or dinner parties to attend or occasionally throw. When she wanted to spend time with them they had something else to do or somewhere else to be. There was always something that seemed far more important than their own daughter.
Of course the payoff was that Rachel had just about anything a young girl could ask for. Though if her parents had actually bothered asking her what she wanted she would have told them she’d trade it all for parents who loved her and cared enough to listen and spend time with her. Not that they ever asked.
By the time she was twelve her parents decided she was old enough to not need a babysitter whenever they went out. It probably would have seemed great if it had have been only once a week but it wasn’t. Her parents went out most nights. And all Rachel got out of that freedom was that she wasn’t even valuable enough for her parents to pay someone to make sure she was alright. Even when they were home she was still left to her own devices.
Once when she got caught smoking at school all her mother said was, “That’s pretty self-destructive behaviour for someone so young. Don’t you think you should find something more constructive to do with your hands?”
Despite there being no need for a babysitter her parents wouldn’t let her stay home alone during their two week vacation. The regular two weeks on the farm continued until Rachel was fifteen.
The year she turned fourteen was the year Rachel started getting her period. It was also the year she started taking birth control pills. Her mother found them one day and confronted her, stupidly demanding to know why she was taking them.
“Since when did you care?” was Rachel’s response.
“I am still your Mother, even though you refuse to talk to me about anything.”
“That’s great coming from you. Every time I try to talk to you you’ve something better to do, or somewhere else to be.” Rachel spoke almost expressionlessly.
“How can you say something like that to me, I’m your mother.”
“Well why haven’t you acted like one?” It wasn’t so much a question as an accusatory statement.
“Don’t you dare speak to me like that young lady.”
“Fine, whatever. Look you can think whatever you want. Either I am taking them to relieve period pain and regulate my cycle or I’m taking them so I can sleep with as many guys as I want without getting pregnant.”
That was the last time they spoke about it. Rachel didn’t know whether her mother was in denial about sex or just trying to ignore it, by now she wasn’t sure it really mattered. Sex was part of her life but certainly not a part she was going to discuss with her mother. She had convinced herself that when she chose to have sex with a guy she felt cared for and loved. Even if it was only for a little while. It wasn’t the sex she liked, it was the being held by someone, feeling close to someone, but by fourteen she figured that the pay off for that was sex.
The wall around her emotions was getting bigger and stronger all the time. She did what she thought she had to do in order to feel what she thought she wanted to feel. But as always the result was only temporary.
Apart from the year Trevor started it all, her final year at the farm was the worst. That was the year she was fifteen and took to sneaking out the window. Trevor told his parents who began looking in on her when they were home and made Trevor promise to look in on her when they were out. They informed Rachel they were not going to tolerate rebellious behaviour in anyone who lived under their roof even if it was only for a couple of weeks a year. The threat to phone her parents didn’t even merit acknowledging.
There may have been no need to sneak out when her aunt and uncle were in the house but she wasn’t stupid enough to stay when they went out. As soon as their car was down the driveway Rachel was gone but Trevor was ready for her. To make matters worse he brought a friend along. After that night Rachel didn’t think things could get any worse.
She was wrong.
The day before she was due to catch the bus home Rachel had gone for a walk. Although Trevor had long since stopped hassling her when his parents were home she still preferred to be as far away from the house and the thoughts it provoked as she could be. There were one or two places on the farm that offered her moments of something resembling peace. This day isolating herself proved to be a bad decision.
This day Trevor had a nasty surprise. He and three of his mates found her in the wooded paddock by the stream reading. One of the other guys she already knew, the other two she didn’t. Rachel decided then and there that this would be the last time she would ever set foot on her aunt and uncle’s farm.