Life goes on and there are times I really wonder about my faith, mostly when it seems we try to do all we can and so often something comes and knocks us on our butts.
I had to pull myself up today from feeling sorry for myself. I'd just been to the drs and I hate drs waiting rooms, being late, gyno exams and kids immunisations. Then there was the news our youngest needs a referral to PMH (kids hospital) - nothing serious but after her sisters fun and games with her hearing I'm frustrated at having to do it again, even if it is slightly diff. Anyway I was thinking how unfair it was that I have so much going on and other people I know cruise by and blithely say everything is going to work out fine and so often it seems to for them.
Hello! How much self pity do I have? I don't need or want the life these people I was comparing myself to, have. I don't want their faith. The few times we’ve talked about it I’ve walked away thinking ‘I want more than that, there has to be more’. And in all honesty I don’t really know what is going on in their lives, we’re not that close. I should know that just because the surface looks so smooth doesn’t mean what’s really going on is without vicious undercurrents.
So I guess it comes down to can I stand up to the faith I want? (Daniel 3:16-18)
Am I prepared to put the effort in to get the deeper kind of relationship I want? (Luke 10:38-42)
Can I trust that God has it all in hand when I don't even know how my bills are going to get paid? (Matthew 6:25-34)
Am I able to push through the hard times because I know God has a call on my life and I want the best He has for me? (James 1:12, Job)
Do I believe God put certain things in my life so He can use them to reach others and teach me? (Romans 8:28)
Or is it all some big cosmic joke to Him?
In my heart I know the answer to the last is no. Problem is sometimes it feels like it is yes. Good thing faith isn't dictated by feelings, or my faith would be so fragmented it wouldn't stand up to anything. Forget about the winds of doubt, it wouldn’t stand up to a smelly…well you get it.
So in my moment of certainty in amongst all the uncertainty, I just want to encourage you that sometimes going deeper, means pushing harder, digging your heels in and persevering when all you want to do is walk the easy path for a while.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4
I had to pull myself up today from feeling sorry for myself. I'd just been to the drs and I hate drs waiting rooms, being late, gyno exams and kids immunisations. Then there was the news our youngest needs a referral to PMH (kids hospital) - nothing serious but after her sisters fun and games with her hearing I'm frustrated at having to do it again, even if it is slightly diff. Anyway I was thinking how unfair it was that I have so much going on and other people I know cruise by and blithely say everything is going to work out fine and so often it seems to for them.
Hello! How much self pity do I have? I don't need or want the life these people I was comparing myself to, have. I don't want their faith. The few times we’ve talked about it I’ve walked away thinking ‘I want more than that, there has to be more’. And in all honesty I don’t really know what is going on in their lives, we’re not that close. I should know that just because the surface looks so smooth doesn’t mean what’s really going on is without vicious undercurrents.
So I guess it comes down to can I stand up to the faith I want? (Daniel 3:16-18)
Am I prepared to put the effort in to get the deeper kind of relationship I want? (Luke 10:38-42)
Can I trust that God has it all in hand when I don't even know how my bills are going to get paid? (Matthew 6:25-34)
Am I able to push through the hard times because I know God has a call on my life and I want the best He has for me? (James 1:12, Job)
Do I believe God put certain things in my life so He can use them to reach others and teach me? (Romans 8:28)
Or is it all some big cosmic joke to Him?
In my heart I know the answer to the last is no. Problem is sometimes it feels like it is yes. Good thing faith isn't dictated by feelings, or my faith would be so fragmented it wouldn't stand up to anything. Forget about the winds of doubt, it wouldn’t stand up to a smelly…well you get it.
So in my moment of certainty in amongst all the uncertainty, I just want to encourage you that sometimes going deeper, means pushing harder, digging your heels in and persevering when all you want to do is walk the easy path for a while.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:2-4
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