This is so much harder than I thought it would be. Not that this is something I ever thought about mind you. Then who does think about how they’ll cope with the death of their child? It just isn’t something anyone ever really considers. I suppose you think about it when you hear, see or read those stories about children being killed. Even so, you never really consider the possibility it could happen to you. I know I certainly didn’t.
The news headlines make it all sound so impersonal. I saw one that read “TRAGEDY: SEVEN DEAD IN SUPERMARKET SLAUGHTER”. In normal circumstances you would read that and think ‘oh how sad’ and maybe wonder about what this world is coming to, but it’s still something far removed from you personally.
The only problem was this time it wasn’t so far away. In fact it was so close I’m sure the scars I have will never completely fade.
Perhaps the public nature of it all is one reason I’m finding it so difficult to deal with. It’s so hard when a personal tragedy is laid out for all to see. People think they know me because of what they’ve read about me in the paper. They don’t. They don’t know the first thing about me, except my daughter was killed.
They mean well, I don’t doubt that, but it’s so hard to grieve when you don’t have the privacy to do so. It’s as if everything I’m feeling is amplified by the fact everyone seems to be watching me to see how I will cope.
I’ve only just got my privacy back so maybe things will start making sense again soon.
The news headlines make it all sound so impersonal. I saw one that read “TRAGEDY: SEVEN DEAD IN SUPERMARKET SLAUGHTER”. In normal circumstances you would read that and think ‘oh how sad’ and maybe wonder about what this world is coming to, but it’s still something far removed from you personally.
The only problem was this time it wasn’t so far away. In fact it was so close I’m sure the scars I have will never completely fade.
Perhaps the public nature of it all is one reason I’m finding it so difficult to deal with. It’s so hard when a personal tragedy is laid out for all to see. People think they know me because of what they’ve read about me in the paper. They don’t. They don’t know the first thing about me, except my daughter was killed.
They mean well, I don’t doubt that, but it’s so hard to grieve when you don’t have the privacy to do so. It’s as if everything I’m feeling is amplified by the fact everyone seems to be watching me to see how I will cope.
I’ve only just got my privacy back so maybe things will start making sense again soon.
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